How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied

How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied by Jess Keating Read Free Book Online

Book: How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied by Jess Keating Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jess Keating
garlic bread.
    I twirled my pasta, trying to ignore the clenching feeling inside my stomach, while Daz gawped over Sugar cutting her noodles into tiny pieces. There was a napkin tucked into her tank top as a makeshift bib, and I’m pretty sure that if it hadn’t been there, Daz would have been covered in drool.
    Grandpa beamed. “Well, if you’d read the latest issue of Entertainment Network , you might have seen a little interview with yours truly! Maybe my beautiful granddaughter should announce the news.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out ripped page from a glossy magazine and handed it to me. I blinked at the headline and read it aloud with a wavering voice.
    Reality Star and Naturalist Plans Documentary
    In entertainment news, fans will be delighted to hear that Shep Foster is planning a documentary of his life, with friends and family slotted to make guest appearances. The sixty-three-year-old reality star and naturalist, known for his rugged charm, outgoing personality, and trademark Hawaiian shirts, has been touring the world recently, promoting his new book, Wild Thing . With both his daughter and son-in-law working at a zoo, Shep said he was eager to take some well-deserved time off to visit them, begin the documentary, and provide some funding for his daughter’s project that will focus on large carnivores. “I can’t wait to visit,” Shep told us. “I haven’t seen my grandkids in ages! It’s been great to travel, but I’m looking forward to seeing them most of all.”
    I set the paper down. “What does that mean? Guest appearances—what does that mean ?” The spaghetti was twisting up in knots inside my stomach. “Mom?” I asked.
    But she was too busy staring in awe at her dad.
    â€œYou’re…you’re funding my carnivore project?” Her eyes were misty. Grandpa reached over to touch her hand. “Of course I am, Janie,” he said. “It’s about time those bozos at the zoo knew what they have in you!”
    Mom stammered, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “Dad, that’s amazing. Thank you!” She looked at Dad, all googly-eyed.
    â€œWait, is this that lion project thing you wanted to do?” I asked. I gripped my fork hard. Daz peered at her curiously and slurped a noodle.
    â€œYes! The one with the place inside!” She gripped her hands into fists and shook them in the air.
    The place inside.
    Three little words. But they latched on to my chest and pressed down until I could barely breathe.
    I knew what she meant. The zoo had a few houses on the grounds, mostly for staff that had to be there around the clock for feeding or veterinary help. The houses were tucked in the back, in between the exhibits. Normally you walk right by them without noticing, mainly because they look like huts or fake base camps and are plastered with “Save Our Tigers” posters.
    â€œBut that means,” I started. I couldn’t finish that sentence without throwing up.
    â€œWe’re gonna be living in the zoo !” Daz shrieked. He slammed down his fork and high-fived Sugar, who was giggling with delight.
    All of my energy drained down through my toes and out my chair when I saw how happy they were. This couldn’t be happening. First Liv moves away and now I’m expected to live in a zoo ? Like a real zoo, with monkeys and lions and crocodiles as my neighbors? Without Liv, I wanted to stay anonymous. How the heck can I do that if I live in a zoo? Why did I have to be in the weirdest family on the planet?
    â€œIt will only be for a few months,” Mom added. “A summer thing, really. You’ll have so much fun!”
    Gag me with a spoon. Not everyone is cool enough to be in the spotlight like Grandpa and Mom. Some people get called “Scales” every second of the day, no matter how much they try to pull off the whole “cool and confident” shtick.
    â€œAnd

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