How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied by Jess Keating Read Free Book Online Page A

this documentary you’re filming—is it true that you would like us to be featured in it?” Dad asked. “How big are we talking here? Both of the kids are finishing up school, and I know that their exams are soon…”
    I glanced at the newspaper article beside me. It practically glared back at me.
    Grandpa put down his fork so he didn’t poke himself in the eye; he was such a hand talker. “Well, the producers said they’d like to feature my family if they could. They already got a lot of footage of ol’ Sugar here.” He patted her on the shoulder.
    â€œOh, I’ll bet they have,” Mom said quietly, as she twirled her fork.
    Grandpa ignored her. “And I’ve got a few public appearances now that I’m here. The bookstore in the Downsview Mall wants to have a signing for Wild Thing , and a few of the TV news stations around here have already talked to Herb for an interview with you all. I’d like to focus the footage on you guys, of course.”
    Honestly, at that point I stopped being able to feel my face. The half smile that I had plastered to my face sort of froze, and I was left with what I can only imagine was a zombielike sneer. I looked at my parents in horror.
    I have to be on TV.
    My stomach lurched. I felt the distinct tremor of sickness in my throat. Everything from the past week was all balled together, making my hands sweat and tremble.
    I am going to puke.
    Instead of arguing for my chance at freedom from insanity, my last chance to cling to anonymity, I, Ana Wright, shoved my chair out from the table and dashed upstairs to the bathroom, where I got a front row seat to the second viewing of my dinner.
    Take that, Hollywood.

chapter 5
    â€œElephants can communicate with sounds well below the human hearing range.”
    â€”Animal Wisdom
    This just in: I have to communicate with my best friend over the Internet from now on, because she can’t be bothered to show up for a cupcake wish.
    When I sat down at my bench in art class the next day, the smell of paint and clay felt like a warm hug from a friend. All I wanted to do was lay low and make it to summer, so Daz had promised not to tell anyone at school about Grandpa. Okay, he had bartered dish duty for a month, but it was worth it to avoid the Sneerers finding out. The only thing worse than them knowing I’m a scaredy-cat zoo freak would be them knowing I’m related to people who are so much cooler and braver than me.
    Hello, I don’t need that comparison.
    All of this might not be nearly so bad if Liv was here. Before she moved, she used to glue tiny googly eyes on my binder whenever I was upset about something. But now? She’s got better things to do, and it feels like I’ll never have my best friend back again. How do I know this? Because last night, my life got so much worse.
    Embarrassing grandfather shoving me into a TV interview? Check.
    Parents forcing us to move into a zoo? Check.
    Best friend ditching me for the rest of our lives? CHECK, CHECK, AND CHECK.
    That’s right.
    You’d think that Liv would have had to have been in some awful accident to miss our cupcake wish, right? You’d think she would want to come back home so we could be best friends together again and do all the things that best friends should, like marry brothers and buy nice purses in matching colors.
    But you’d be wrong.
    When I clicked open my e-mail late last night, this is what I saw.
    Dear Ana,
    Sorry I missed our cupcake wish. I know it was important to you, and I feel super bad about bailing. The thing is, I sorta like it here, you know? I mean, it’s not HOME yet, but it’s crazy beautiful, and the people are really nice, and I just don’t know if that’s the right wish to make. I’ve never gotten to explore someplace cool and new before, and this whole adventure is kind of fun! I even met a girl with purple hair! Her name is Leilani, and she plays