I Want to Kill the Dog by Richard M. Cohen Read Free Book Online Page B

discovered a new litter box. Eternal humiliation.
    I tell myself that life is good and everything works out in the end. Maybe next time, I will have better luck.
    Did I say next time?

Acknowledgments
    By now it must be evident that Meredith and I find ourselves on different pages in the endless doggie debate. But if this is as bad as it gets in our marriage, screw the dog. Jasper lives, and I will survive the hideous howling until the animal screams his last meaningless mouthful. I mean, how long can the loud loser keep going?
    Actually, I do not want to know.
    I do want to acknowledge Meredith’s long-standing support for this book, though she knew from the get-go that she would cringe at every harsh judgment I would offer. It must have killed her. Meredith is a real friend, a great journalist, and true professional who appreciates the power of story. She does not seem to care what I say about her, which I find mildly insulting. Very Queen Elizabeth.
    Before Meredith read the manuscript, I asked my agent if there was anything she had read that might hurt Meredith’s feelings. “No,” the woman replied thoughtfully. “Meredith comes across as a kind, caring person.” And me? I asked. Linda paused. “You come across as an asshole.” Good, I quickly replied. My work is done.
    Linda Loewenthal is not shy about sharing her opinions. I have the scars to prove it. Linda worked me until the manuscript was ready for a publisher. Linda is a great partner. My editor at Penguin, Vanessa Kehren, never stopped laughing as she ran a tight ship, getting the book ready for publication. My thanks also go to David Rosenthal, president of Blue Rider Press, his imprint at Penguin, for instantly seeing this book’s potential. Aileen Boyle, David’s associate publisher, is a publicity and marketing wizard. Only she could sell a book about doing in a dog. Stan Mack’s illustrations bring my story to life. Stan is fun, which made our collaboration even better.
    Last, I want to thank Jasper for his never-ending sense of humor. I told the dog about the book, and he went for my throat. As Bugs Bunny once laughed scornfully, “What a maroon.”

About the Author
    Richard M. Cohen is the author of two
New York Times
bestsellers: a memoir,
Blindsided: Lifting a Life Above Illness,
detailing his struggles with MS and cancer and his controversial career in the news business,
and
Strong at the Broken Places: Voices of Illness, a Chorus of Hope,
chronicling the lives of five individuals living with serious chronic illnesses. His distinguished career in network news earned him numerous awards, including three Emmys and a Peabody. Cohen lives outside New York City with his wife, Meredith Vieira. They have three grown children.