If You Don't Have Big Breasts, Put Ribbons on Your Pigtails by Barbara Corcoran, Bruce Littlefield Read Free Book Online

beneath the radiator. "Hurry or you're going to be late!

    We slid in our socked feet across the turquoise tile of the living room, dropped into our white bucks, grabbed a lunch bag, and headed out the door.
    After I thought about the systems that made my mother's house work, I knew the only chance I had of having a well-run office rested on having a place and a system for everything. So, I spent the weekend planning and getting organized.
    First, I made a list of everything that didn *t work at the old office, a long list of time-wasters, and figured out how to eliminate them. Then, I made a list of what did work and devised ways to do them even better. I thought through my salespeople's office needs, numbered the most important ones, and crossed out the ones that could wait. I tore the lists from my yellow legal pad and hailed a cab over to Hayman and Sumner stationers. I browsed through the merchandise, sizing up its usefulness, and came home with a large carton full of file folders, colored index cards, and labels.
    9:15 A.M. The Corcoran Group. First day.
    "Good morning, 1 ' I said as each of my seven salespeople cautiously walked through the door. "After you hang up your coat, please come over here, reach in, and pull out a number." I had numbered and folded fourteen pieces of paper and put them in a red Bloomingdale's shopping bag. Each number in the bag corresponded with a number I had taped to the desks.
    Cathy picked first, tentatively reaching into the bag. "Oh, Cathy!" I exclaimed. "Congratulations! You got number seven! You picked the best desk here!" David was next and pulled out number three. "Is that number three you have there, David?" I gushed. "Congratulations, David! You picked the best desk here."
    The number I was pulling had everyone laughing.

    "Now, remember/' I shouted into the excited sales area, "if you don t like your desk, don't even give it a moment's thought, because we'll be changing all our seats in six months anyway! And if you do like your desk, don't get used to it, because we'll be changing all our seats in six months anyway! And please don't put your things on the empty desk next to yours, because we'll be filling that seat in no time at all."
    On each of the seven assigned desks, I had placed a small yellow rose in a white vase with a handwritten note. The salespeople settled in and smiled as they read, "I'm so happy you're here! xoxo—Barb."
    I spotted John Bachman about to post his cardboard do not disturb sign high above desk number five. From his perfectly parted blond hair to his stiff ironing-board walk, everything about John said, "Leave me alone."
    I approached cautiously. "John?" I interrupted. "You may have needed that do not disturb sign in our old office, but you won't need it around here. In this office, everyone can disturb everyone.''''
    John turned his starched neck, twisted his pinky ring a half-turn to the right, and nodded, "Veil, if zat's vat you vant..." And took down the sign.
    I walked to the front of the office and shouted, "Okay, now, please get yourself a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and we'll start our meeting." While they sugared, milked, and stirred, I began. "Good morning, everyone!"
    Everyone humored me and chimed back, "Good morning, Barbara."
    "Today, I have six announcements to make, and the first is that we're going to have breakfast here together every Monday morning. It will begin at nine-thirty and end promptly at ten-fifteen." Everyone looked around at each other and seemed pleased.
    "The second announcement is that we'll be starting a new system for our listing information, and here's how the system will work. I held up four different-colored index cards. "The new listing cards carry the same property information as our old ones did, but the new

    colors will make it easier to find the right-size apartment when you need it." I demonstrated each color as I spoke. "All studio apartment information will be written on the white cards, all