In a Moon Smile by Sherri Coner Read Free Book Online

my thumb but certainly not as wide.”
    Shrieking with laughter, Chesney hid her blazing red face behind her napkin. “I can’t believe you actually brought that up,” she laughed. “We haven’t talked about poor Calvin for at least a million years. I wanted that nightmare to stay buried, Bec. Calvin and his annoying habits, cat dick and all. In the ground, gone and forgotten.”
    “I brought the subject back to life because I wanted you to remember another time when you did something you did not want to do, Chez. But you did it hoping it would make your parents happier with you.”
    “Oh, God,” Chesney sighed and offered half of a chocolate fudge donut to Becca. “When you add all of that to the conversation, it’s not funny anymore.”
    “Your mom is quietly psychotic,” Becca said. “And you are right, Chez. There’s nothing funny about it. She has a weird hold on you. And your sister is a clone of your mother, with that matching bun on the back of her head. It’s scary, really, to see the two of them together.”
    “I can’t put all the blame on them,” Chesney said. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things. I’ve given both of them a lot of reason to worry about my decisions. I’m not sure I know who I am.” Her voice trembled and she swallowed hard. “I can’t remember the last time I made a decision based solely on what I wanted.”
    “You made an excellent decision a few days ago,” Becca said brightly. “You broke off the engagement.”
    “Not true,” Chesney shook her head sadly. “Don’t you remember, Bec? Jack walked into the kitchen and announced that he didn’t want to marry me. He had to say that to me, even though I walked in on him and Belinda the dominatrix. I’m so embarrassed to admit that. I wanted to salvage the relationship. I suggested that we rush into counseling with Father Martin, just as soon as Jack got the handcuffs removed, of course.”
    “You were in shock,” Becca offered a lifeline and Chesney wanted to believe that might actually be true. But she knew it wasn’t.
    “Are you tossing up some positive bullshit for the sole purpose of making me feel less suicidal?” Chesney asked. Then she leaned toward Becca and whispered. “Here’s the truth, Bec. I probably would have married Jack, just because he impressed my parents. I haven’t lived up to any of my mother’s expectations. And she just keeps pulling harder at those invisible puppet strings, trying to get me to be who she wants me to be. So yeah, I would have turned my head and pretended Jack wasn’t cheating. It meant that much to me. I would have sacrificed myself to avoid disappointing my family again.”
    Becca placed her hand on top of Chesney’s and smiled. “You are so crazy awesome for being so brutally honest, Chez. I’m really proud of you. But here’s the deal, okay? That is an extremely screwed up way to look at life decisions. Maybe it’s time for you to find your own expectations,” she blinked sudden tears from her kind brown eyes. “Live up to the expectations you set for yourself,” Becca smiled sweetly. “And to hell with everybody else.”
    Chesney sat back against the pink metal chair and smiled. These were the moments when she thanked God most for Becca’s friendship.
    She believes in me when I don’t. She encourages me to fight back and grow up. She shoves me toward adulthood, even when I’m subconsciously looking for that plastic box filled with Barbies.
    “I’m leaving tomorrow,” Chesney said softly.
    “Leaving?” Becca asked, looking alarmed. “What do you mean? Where are you going?”
    “I want to get away for a while,” Chesney said with a shrug.
    “Chez,” Becca moaned. “Come on. Stop this. You can’t leave and just pretend this will all go away. You’ve got to tell your family the truth about the wedding.”
    “I’m going to southern Indiana, to visit my grandmother’s place,” Chesney said evenly. “And when I get back in a day or so, I will