In Persuasion Nation by George Saunders Read Free Book Online Page B

much in us is hardwired! You cannot fight fate without
some significant help from an intervening entity, such as us, such as
our resources, which we have poured into you in good faith all these
years. You are a prince, we have made you a prince. Please do not
descend back into the mud.
    Reconsider,
Randy, Dove said. Sleep on it.
    Will
you? Delacourt said. Will you at least sleep on it?
    And I
said I would.
    Because
tell the truth that thing with my mom had freaked me out, it was like
my foundation had fallen away, like at LI 83743 for Advil, where the
guy's foundation of his house falls away and he thunks his head on
the floor of Hell and thus needs a Advil, which the Devil has some
but won't give him any.
    As he
left, Dove unhit Pause, and I had time to note many things on that
video, such as that lady's teeth were not good, such as my chin and
hers were similar, such as she referred to our dog as Shit Machine,
which what kind of name was that for a dog, such as at one point they
zoomed in on this little baby sitting on the floor in just a diaper,
all dirty and looking sort of dumb, and I could see very plain it was
me.
    Just
before Dinner, Dove came back in.
    Randy,
your Paperwork, per your Request, he said. Do you still want it?
    I
don't know, I said. I'm not sure.
    You
are making me very happy, Dove said.
    And he
sent in Tony from Catering with this intense Dinner of steak au
poivre and our usual cheese tray with Alsatian olives, and a
milkshake in my monogrammed cup, and while I watched "Sunset
Terror Home" on the big-screen, always a favorite, Bedtime
passed and nobody came and got me, them letting me stay up as late as
I wanted.

    Later
that night in my Privacy Tarp I was wakened by someone crawling in,
and, hitting my Abercrombie & Fitch night-light, I saw it
    was
Slippen.
    Randy,
I am so sorry for my part in all of this, he whispered. I just want
to say you are a great kid and always have been since Day One and in
truth I at times have felt you were more of a son than my own
personal sons, and likewise with Carolyn, who was the daughter I
never had.
    I did
not know what to say to that, it being so personal and all, plus he
was like laying or lying practically right on top of me and I could
smell wine on his breath. We had always learned in Religion that if
something is making you uncomfortable you should just say it, so I
just said it, I said, Sir, this is making me uncomfortable.
    You
know what is making me uncomfortable? he said. You lying here while
poor Carolyn sits in the Lerner Center all alone, big as a house,
scared to death. Randy, one only has one heart, and when that heart
is breaking via thinking of what is in store for poor Carolyn, one
can hardly be blamed for stepping in, can one? Can one? Randy, do you
trust me?
    He had
always been good to me, having taught me so much, like how to hit a
Wiffle and how to do a pushup, and once had even brought in this
trough and taught me and Ed and Josh to fish, and how fun was that,
all of us laughing and feeling around on the floor for the fish we
kept dropping during those moments of involuntary blindness that
would occur as various fish-related LIs flashed in our heads, like
the talking whale for Stouffer's FishMeals (LI 38322), like the fish
and loafs Jesus makes at LI 83722 and then that one dude goes, Lord,
this bread is dry, can you not summon up some ButterSub?
    I
trust you, I said.
    Then
come on, he said, and crawled out of my Privacy Tarp.

    We
crossed the Common Area and went past Catering, which I had never
been that far before, and soon were standing in front of this door
labelled Caution Do Not Open Without Facility Personnel
Accompaniment.
    Randy,
do you know what is behind this door? Slippen said.
    No, I
said.
    Take a
look, he said.
    And
smiling a smile like that mother on Christmas morning at LI 98732 for
Madpets.com, who throws off the tablecloth to reveal a real horse in
their living room chewing on the rug, Slippen threw open that