Incubus Dreams by Laurell K. Hamilton Read Free Book Online

him, his face nearly lost in a cloud of his own hair. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to fight anymore.
    â€œYou’re right, my nose is healing.” His voice held that hint of bitter laughter to it. That tone that matched that confusing smile.
    I touched his arm. “If this is hard, you don’t have to.”
    He shook his head and put a hand up at his hair, impatient, angry, as if he was mad at the hair for getting in his face. I thought he was probably angry at me, but I didn’t ask. I didn’t really want to know if the answer was yes.
    â€œNo, you asked, I’ll answer.”
    I took back my hand and let him talk, let him open the bag that I’d wanted opened, so badly, only minutes ago. Now, I’d have let it go to wipe that look off his face.
    â€œDo you know why my hair’s long?”
    It was such an odd question, that I answered it. “No, I guess I thought you liked it that way.”
    He shook his head, one hand caught in the hair near his face, so he could keep the wind from chasing it across his face. “When Chimera took over a group of shapeshifters, he used torture, or the threat of torture, to control us. If the head of the group could withstand the torture, then he’d tormentweaker members. Use their harm as a way to control the alphas in the group.”
    He was quiet for so long that I had to say something. “I know he was a sadistic bastard. I remember what he did to Gina and Violet, to keep you and Merle under control.”
    â€œYou only know part of it,” he said, and his eyes had a distant look, so far away. He was remembering, and it wasn’t pretty.
    I hadn’t meant to bring this on. I hadn’t. “Micah, I didn’t mean . . .”
    â€œNo, you wanted to know. You can know.” He took in a breath so deep it made him shudder. “One of his favorite torments was gang rape. Those of us who wouldn’t participate, he made us grow our hair long. Said, if we wanted to act like women, we should look like women.”
    I thought about that for a second. “You and Merle are the only men in your pard that have long hair.”
    He nodded. “I think Caleb enjoyed it, and Noah, well,” he shrugged. “We all did things that we didn’t like, just to stay alive. To stay whole.”
    I couldn’t think much less of Caleb, but it made me think less of Noah. I didn’t know what to say out loud. But Micah didn’t need me to talk anymore. The story was started, and he would tell it now, whether I wanted to hear it or not. It was my own damn fault, so I listened and gave him the only thing I could at this point—my attention. Not horror, not pity, just my attention. Horror was redundant, and pity—no one likes pity.
    â€œYou talked to Chimera, to more than one of his faces. You know how conflicted he was.”
    I nodded, then said, “Yes.”
    â€œPart of him was the ultimate male bully, and that part raped women. Part of him was gay, and the two parts hated each other.”
    Chimera had given the idea of split personality a whole new meaning, because each personality had had a different physical form. Until I’d met him, seen it for myself, I’d have said it was impossible.
    â€œI remember that part of him wanted me to be his mate, and part of him didn’t seem much interested in girls.”
    Micah nodded. “Exactly.”
    I was almost afraid of where this was going, but I’d started it. If he could tell the story, I could hear it, all of it.
    â€œHe didn’t just rape women,” Micah said, “but strangely, he would only rape a man if he were already gay. It was as if he only wanted the sex the person enjoyed to be used against them.” He shrugged, but it turned into a shiver. “I didn’t understand it. I was just grateful to not be on his list of victims.” He shivered again.
    â€œDo you want my jacket?” I