Into the Flames (Out of the Ashes #2) by S. M. Lynn Read Free Book Online

pain.  Those should be my arms around him, not hers; those looks should be mine, not hers. 
    There are several pictures of them attending a couple black tie events, them entering a restaurant for dinner and a few others of them having lunch in the Florida sunshine.  In all of the pictures, they both looked happy, very much the picture of an emerging relationship.  There was one at lunch where she was staring into his eyes with her hand delicately placed on his arm as if imploring him for something and he looked back at her adoringly.  This picture took my breath away and stabbed me through the heart in the same instance.  It was too much to take.  Looking at her left hand on his arm so delicately caressing him, but that wasn’t the only thing that cut me.  It was what she wore on the fourth finger of that hand.  A large sparkling diamond, clearly an engagement ring.  Could this really have happened so quickly?  Would he really rush right out and marry the next woman that caught his eye?  Did I damage him that much?  Did what we have mean so little?  Part of me is glad that this didn’t cause him to shut down like his break up with Rebecca had but mostly, I’m devastated that I pushed him so far away he’s already unreachable to me.
    Gavin looks between me and screen, his face awash with concerned.  “Laur, I think that’s more than enough. “  And without waiting for a response from me takes the Mac book and slams the lid shut.  Clearly he’s come to the same conclusion I have; this isn’t merely a quick fling for Ian before he decides to forgive me.  This is Ian’s new forever and there’s nothing left there for me.  “Please Lauren.  Don’t do this to yourself.  I said fuck him if this is how he’s going to be and I meant it.  You are so much more than anyone has ever given you credit for and I won’t let his stupid ass bring you back down.”  He drops a light kiss into my hair.  “I know it doesn’t seem like it now but it will be okay, I promise.”
    I want nothing more than to believe him.  I want to believe I am the strong woman he seems to think I am; I want to see myself the way he does but I just can’t.  “Gav, I’m going to lie down.  Will you take the alert off my account?  I think I’ve seen enough for, well, I think that will cover me for the rest of my life in the heartbreak department.”
    “Darling, do you want me to lay with you?  God, that unbelievable bastard!  Tell me what I can do to help?  I feel so helpless right now.  I can’t stand to see you like this.”
    “You’re right , Gav.  It’ll be alright, eventually.  I just need some time.  Time to process all this and to heal.  You know it’s funny.  That night I walked down the hall to see Dean standing behind Ian I thought that was the biggest shock I’ve ever had.  Guess I was wrong about that, huh?  That couldn’t be further from the truth right now.”
    Gavin grabs my hand as I stand.  “I’m here.  And I’m not going anywhere.  I will always be there for you, Lauren.  Whatever you need.”  I lean down and kiss his cheek before turning to go to my room.  I really do just need to lie down and rest.   Lana Del Ray’s Dark Paradise has become the theme song for my life and I wholeheartedly embrace it. 
    I know I’ve passed through the door of a dark place because for the next several days all I want to do is sleep, just getting out of bed exhausts me.  The world holds no appeal for me.  Thank god for Gavin; he’ll only allow me to wallow for so long before he’ll break me and force me back into the world.  I just hope I’m ready when he does.
     
    ~
     
    “Lauren, I have Dean on the line for you.  I tried to take a message but he’s insistent on speaking to you.  Says he’ll just come up if you don’t take his call.  I’m sorry.”  Tracy knew better than to try to put him through to me today.  She may be my assistant now but we developed a fast friendship