used to being the only child in the house that the very thought of sharing even space at the kitchen table bothered me."
"I don't feel that way. Daddy."'
"I didn't think you would." He gave me a side glance and then perused my shelf of books. "I hope your brother or sister will be as goad a reader as you are, Grace. There is so much competition for everyone's attention these days, especially younger people, but reading is special. It's really a personal experience, isn't it?"
"Yes. Daddy."
"You can live a whole life through the books you read, not that it should be the only thing, of course."
"No, Daddy."
He seemed so much more nervous than he had ever been around me. He was working hard at making conversation,
"You know, our decision to have another child now doesn't guarantee it will happen," he warned.
"I know, but Mommy said you've gone through tests."
"She told you that, too. huh?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Um," he said. "You understand all that, of course."
"Yes, Daddy." I said. smiling.
"I guess I'm going to have to face facts about you whether I like to or not, aren't I? One of these days you're going to come around with someone and tell me you're in love and planning a life of your own,"
"That's a long way off, Daddy. I want to go to college."
"Right. You should. Women should be more independent these days. And you should be careful about in whom you think you want to place your confidence. Most of the men I know don't grow up until they're almost twice the age I was when I was on my own." he said sternly. "You ought to see who they are sending around to be in control of a multimilliondollar piece of equipment these days. However, they grow up fast under my command," he assured me.
"I bet they do. Daddy." "Right," he said. nodding.
I could just imagine what the man I brought around to meet my father would be feeling. He would probably be trembling at the door. The image brought a smile to my face.
"What?" he asked,
"Nothing," I said.
"C'mon," he urged.
"I was just thinking about the day I bring someone around to meet you."
"Is that so? Your mother says the same sort of thing. I'm no ogre, but I can tell you this: Whoever thinks he can take my Sailor Girl on a voyage of his own had better be fully equipped and obey every rule and regulation."
"Aye, aye. Daddy." I said, and he laughed.
Other girls my age often made me believe they were annoyed by their fathers' interest in their comings and goings. They wanted no advice, no supervision, and they resented questions and concern. All I could think of was haw protected and secure my father made me feel. He was my personal radar screen, picking up and shooting down anything that was in any way a threat to my health and happiness. Why would I ever resent that? If anything, I would miss it if my husband wasn't as strong and as competent as he was.
I also wanted a man whom I could never stop loving and a man who could never stop loving me or he would die, absolutely die on the spot. Was that too romantic, too idealistic? Mommy always made me feel that was the love she had.
"Anyway," Daddy continued, "I wanted to reassure you that nothing will ever diminish my love for you. Grace. You'll always be my Sailor Girl," Daddy said.
"I know that. Daddy."
"Good." He looked at the door. "Well, if your mother asks, tell her we had a very mature
conversation, will you? She's been driving me mad about it," he whispered.
I laughed. "Okay, Daddy."
"'Night, baby," he said, and leaned over to kiss me. He shook his head, "You sure you're almost fifteen already? You were just four."
"I'm sure. Daddy, otherwise I would be very advanced for my age."
He laughed, saluted with his two fingers, and left.
I pulled my blanket up to my chin and closed my eyes. How happy I felt, how warm and secure.
And then I thought of poor Autumn Sullivan, sleeping in some strange place, never hearing her father or her mother say good night.
She was truly like someone lost at sea.
3
A Convenient Sprain
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In the days and weeks to