It's a Wonderful Knife by Christine Wenger Read Free Book Online

work.”
    He walked into the room, put his fingers to his lips, and let out a loud, shrill whistle.
    The room became silent.
    â€œEveryone take a seat and keep quiet, please. I don’t know how Ms. Fellows can even think, let alone do her job.”
    â€œ
I
would never put up with such noise and confusion.” That haughty proclamation came from Margie Grace. Yes, the same Margie Grace who gave us the Christmas pageant with the tangoing shepherds and salmon. Oh, and let’s not forget the spawning salmon dance at last year’s Miss Salmon Contest.
    â€œMargie, I need to start the auditions. Please take a seat along with everyone else,” Liz said, flipping pages on her clipboard.
    â€œHow dare you! I ran this pageant long before you became Pastor Fritz’s secretary!”
    There was a gasp from the spectators, and Liz looked like she was going to faint.
    Margie held her cell phone in her right hand and was just winding up to throw it at Liz as if it were a baseball and she was a pitcher for the Yankees. Thankfully, Ty grabbed her wrist and held it.
    â€œKnock it off, Margie. The kids are watching. Where’s your Christmas spirit?”
    But as long as Ty still had a grip on Margie, it was Liz’s turn.
    â€œHow dare you, you old has-been! I am not a secretary. I am an administrative assistant.”
    â€œI don’t care what you call yourself; you do not have any experience in putting on plays.” Margie paused for dramatic effect and looked out at the spectators, who were now silent and riveted in their pews. “Unlike me.”
    I heard breathing in my ear. It was ACB glued to my side. “This is like a production of
As the Stomach Turns
.”
    â€œI know. Liz would have been really hurt if Ty hadn’t stepped in and grabbed Margie’s wrist.” I shuddered, thinking of what might have happened to Liz’s face.
    Ty held his hands up like a prisoner surrendering. “Ladies and gentlemen, in the spirit of the Christmas season, can you put your differences aside? Let’s move these auditions along so we can start rehearsing. Trixie is here with dinner and dessert for everyone. She’s setting up now.”
    He gave me a pointed glance, and I hurried as fast asI could to the kitchen on my one good leg with one plastered leg, two taped ribs, one uncapped tooth, and two wooden crutches.
    â€œTrixie,” Bob said. “I have some bad news. The meat slicer we were going to use for the ham is broken. Apparently the maintenance man used it to cut wood to fix the banister on the front stairs.”
    ACB shook her head. “The maintenance man should know better than that.”
    â€œI guess we’ll have to slice the ham by hand,” I said, glad that I remembered to bring my favorite knife. “I can sit and slice it.”
    ACB walked in. “Speaking of bad news, you should see what’s happening out in the church. It’s mayhem. Apparently there’s a rumor going around that a Hollywood talent scout might attend the pageant.”
    â€œSo that’s it.” I shook my head. “No wonder the usually lovely people of Sandy Harbor are turning into gargoyles.”
    Ray was out of breath when he ran in. “Mr. Constelli said that his daughter Daphne would
definitely
be singing ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas.’ But she can’t remember the lines and sounds like a squeaky mouse. When Liz told Daphne to learn the lyrics of the song and try again, her mother threw the sheet music at Liz. Ty had to ask the whole family to leave. He kicked out Margie Grace, too. Daphne started crying and Mr. Constelli says he is going to sue.”
    â€œFor Pete’s sake.” Ty walked into the kitchen, and I could swear that steam was coming out of his ears. “Iput Vern McCoy in charge of keeping the peace at the auditions. What’s gotten into these people?”
    â€œThere may be a Hollywood talent scout coming to