J Roars by Emily Eck Read Free Book Online

again. How many times could a heart melt or shatter, because I was sure I was swiftly approaching my quota. I eased out of Elle, still gripping the smooth creamy skin of her thighs. She pushed off of me and got up from the couch.
    “I don’t want you to go,” she said, tears threatening to fall, “but if you don’t leave now—just go. Do what you gotta do so you can come back to me.”
    I wanted to reach out to her, take her in my arms, and tell her there was no need for tears, that I'd be back and we'd be together. I was about to put my hand out to her , but she scurried off to the bathroom, leaving me to get dressed alone. I could have been embarrassed, though I was too sad, too dejected to care about wandering into Chris' kitchen to scrounge for a towel. I found a stack of fast food napkins next to Elle's purse and used them to clean up. I was about to wipe her scent off me when I made a split second decision. If I couldn't have her, I'd go back to carrying her around. I found my pants and pulled my black bandanna out of it, wiping every drop of Elle off my cock before carefully folding the bandanna up like it carried diamonds—which it did for me. I slipped my pants on, the bandanna still in my hand. I wasn't ready to put it away just yet.
    Elle came back into the living room and I tossed her panties and tank top to her. I wanted to sniff the bandanna like an idiot, but thought better of it, instead shoving it in my pocket and pulling my shirt on. Elle found her pants and we dressed in silence. I watched her move, memorizing each inch of her, from her golden mane to her slender toes. I felt like a soldier going to war, like I was saying goodbye to my woman, unsure of when I'd return. I was determined, like all soldiers I'm sure, to come back to her in one piece so we could resume our lives. How many soldiers never came back?
    I opened my mouth to tell her what I thought a soldier would say to the woman he loved, and she chose the same moment to speak.
    "Go ahead," she told me.
    "I love you." It's the only thing that seemed appropriate to say.
    She clutched her hair, her tell that she was struggling. I knew she pulled it to feel the pain. I'd done it before, dulled the pain inside with physical pain. Redirected the pain in my heart to the burn in my muscles from lifting weights a few too many reps. "I love you, too." She spoke with pain lacing her voice.
    "You'll wait?" I knew she declared it while I was buried inside her, and she coming all over my dick, but I needed to hear it when she wasn't in a sex induced mind-set.
    She shrugged. “There’s no other option for me. Just come back alive.”
    I took her in my arms, exhaling the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. She'd wait. I'd fight to the death for her, and she'd wait for me to come back, which meant death wasn't an option. Winning was the only option. I wanted Burns' head to melt in the fire pit outside the clubhouse. As messed up as that seemed, it was my overwhelming love for Elle that made such depraved thoughts enter my mind. I'd do just about anything for her. I knew it. There was nothing she could ask me that I would say no to.
    She melted into me, her body forming to my own. “That’s the plan. That’s the only plan, baby.” I lay my forehead against hers and declared, “I’ll love you until the sun ceases to shine.” I kissed her, pouring my love into her, and feeling her light flow into me. It was a perfect moment, and I left, leaving us suspended in that utterly flawless moment.
    I hopped on my bike and took off for Little Rock.
    ******
    Son came up with a system of communicating our whereabouts to one another. It's not like we could pick up the iPhone and text an address to each other. Son had taken old smartphones, loaded them with a program he created containing millions of addresses matched up to latitude and longitude coordinates, and then killed all tractability on the phones. They were merely a tool to find the nearest waypoint we