She's Out of Control by Kristin Billerbeck Read Free Book Online

me, it’s another. If you two show up together at Bible study, it sends a message.” Of course, I regret this statement immediately. Because I sound whiny and pathetic, and even if I am, I don’t want to sound like it.
    â€œYou and I have been dating for nine months. I can’t have friends?”
    â€œOf course, Seth.” Sure you can have friends, as long as they’re not size-2 blondes with fluttery lashes and big, innocent eyes. “I’ve got to get to work.”
    â€œDon’t be like this, Ash. Arin and I are just friends. You’re not the jealous type. What’s up with this?”
    Does he really want the evaluation? Or just for me to shut up? “Friendship wasn’t what you wanted with Arin ten months ago, Seth,” I accuse, hating myself in the process.
    â€œYou went out to dinner with the German Romeo last night. That’s okay, but my giving a sister-in-Christ a ride to Bible study has ulterior motives?”
    â€œHans is my boss. And don’t pull that sister-in-Christ business with me.”
    â€œBut you trust yourself with Hans. You just don’t trust me with Arin.”
    No, quite frankly I don’t trust any man with Arin. I’ve seen her operate. I inhale deeply. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry. I’ll see you later. I have a patent to rush.”
    â€œFine. I’ll call Arin and tell her to find herself another ride to Bible study. Maybe she can hitch a ride with your ex-boyfriend, Dr. Kevin Novak.” Seth clears his throat dramatically. “Oh, but he’s Arin’s ex, too, isn’t he? Hmm. It seems I’m not the one with the friend/ex issue here, am I?”
    Grrr. “Seth, that’s not fair. Kevin was never my boyfriend.”
    â€œLook, I don’t want to fight. It’s way too early in the morning, and this is a ridiculous fight, Ashley. You either trust me or you don’t. You know how I feel.”
    No, I really don’t. I haven’t heard “I love you.” I’ve heard things like, “You’re very special to me,” or “We have such a great bond and friendship. And my personal favorite: “You’re the only woman I know like you.” Note to males: None of these mean a thing, because we women know you are intentionally avoiding the three little words we really want you to say.
    â€œMaybe we can do lunch one day this week,” I offer, my white flag waving limply over the phone line.
    â€œThat would be nice.”
    We say good-bye. Gone is my thrill over the “surprise.” Life will never be what I want it to be. Perhaps my expectations are too high. Perhaps any expectations are too high.
    I know one thing. I’m buying half of Kay’s house. I want something of my own, and if it’s a dash of granite with 1920s plumbing and a hefty mortgage, I’m fine with that for now. A baby would take away from my clothing budget, anyway.

5
    W hen I walk into my office, I feel like Dolly Parton in that old movie , 9 to 5 . The admins are glaring at me, like they know I had dinner, and who knows what else, with the boss. Maybe it’s just my own guilt after talking to Seth. You know, the explosive inner turmoil of The Telltale Heart ? Details from last night’s bad decisions are polluting my mind . I shouldn’t have gone to dinner with Hans. I could have been with Seth. Instead, Seth was on the phone with Arin. In fact, I practically handed him over with a big, red bow. Besides, I lied toHans . . .
    As I reach my office I lift up my chin. “Any messages?” I ask Tracy, my new admin.
    â€œNope. Nothing.” Tracy is the office honeybee. She spends her mornings gathering the nectar of gossip, and in the afternoon she spreads her pollen with glee. She’s one of those women who is married but doesn’t look married. She wears a ring: a great big tacky thing, but also has huge implants and wild, permed