Jacob Two-Two and the Dinosaur by Mordecai Richler Read Free Book Online

Two-Two cried, “I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I love you.”
    Obviously, before he had quit the camp, Dippy had suffered a temper tantrum. Uprooted trees were strewn about the fields here, there, and everywhere. Wandering amidst the fallen trees, Jacob Two-Two stumbled on the last things left in the camp wherethey had once been so happy together. There were the WANTED posters he had brought back from the convenience store that time. The VICIOUS, VILE DRAGON AT LARGE poster was intact, but not the poster saying WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE, CANADA’S MOST DANGEROUS DESPERADO . Dippy had torn Jacob Two-Two’s picture out of that poster. Obviously he had taken it with him.
    Oh, my
, Jacob Two-Two thought, tears of joy coming to his eyes.
I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven
. His heart soared. He wanted to cheer. But just then a helicopter swooped out of the sky and landed nearby. Four combat-ready soldiers leaped out of it.
    “There’s the desperado!”
    Even as Jacob Two-Two struggled, howling and kicking, they dumped him into the helicopter and took off again, rising over the trees strewn here, there, and everywhere.
    “I don’t care,” Jacob Two-Two said. “Dippy’s safe. You’ll never catch him now. Yippee for B.C.!”
    Then all at once the helicopter began to rock in the sky.
    The next mountain peak trembled with explosions. Debris flew into the air. Smoke spiraled into the sky. Then the bombers flew over the peak again,unloading even more of their deadly missiles. The mountain peak shook and trembled once more.
    “Well, that’s it,” a soldier said. “He’s been pulverized.”
    “The dragon is no more!”

CHAPTER 18
    erry Pleaser’s face filled the TV screen. “Hurray for me,” he said. “I’m now a hero, just like Saint George.”
    Yes, called out the yes women, standing in the background, and yes, called out the yes men, too.
    “You can show how pleased you are by putting up statues of me on the main streets of all your cities. I won’t object. You can also compose symphonies in my praise. Or operas, if you prefer. I’m sorry the beast’s final death struggle could not be shown on TV, but it was just too, too ghastly. There was blood and gristle everywhere. I mean, boy, did I ever pulverize him! Sonow, my people, you can sleep easily in your beds. You are safe. Why, I was even able to save that poor, innocent boy the dragon had so cruelly kidnapped. Yes, Jacob Two-Two is home again. With no thought for my personal safety, I charged in and plucked the child from the dragon’s claws. Fearless, that’s me. Vote for Perry Pleaser, your hero and mine. Thank you very much and now, good night, fans.”

CHAPTER 19
    acob Two-Two was certainly pleased to be home again. There was no doubt about that. But he wouldn’t eat. He hardly ever spoke. He wasn’t sleeping well. He had dark circles under his eyes. And if anybody so much as mentioned Dippy he burst into tears.
    Poor pulverized Dippy hadn’t meant any harm. All he had wanted was a mate and a quiet life in the Rockies of B.C.
    Then, only a week after Jacob Two-Two had come home, Perry Pleaser’s victory speech was shown on TV again.
    “We can switch to another channel,” Jacob Two-Two’s mother said anxiously.
    “No, I want to see it. I want to see it.”
    What did Perry Pleaser mean, saying Jacob Two-Two had been kidnapped and that he had rescued him from the dragon’s claws? What a fibber. Wow! And why hadn’t he shown Dippy’s body on TV? I mean, he’s such a braggart, that Pleaser. What if there was no body? What if he was fibbing about that, just as he had lied about rescuing Jacob Two-Two? No, that was too much to hope for. Dippy’s dead.
    Poor Dippy.
    A month passed, then another month, Jacob Two-Two getting thinner and thinner, his parents grieving. Then one morning there was a very odd item in the newspaper.
    Rocky Mountain Mystery
       PIZZA PARLOR ROBBERIES IN KAMLOOPS B.C. KAMLOOPS, B.C. – Last night somebody broke into