Joanna by Roberta Gellis Read Free Book Online Page A

“Marriage is not important enough to quarrel about?”
    “Be reasonable, Geoffrey,” Joanna said patiently. “I must marry someone.” Then it was her turn to stare, but she could see nothing except a pale blur where Geoffrey’s face was; his features had become indistinguishable. “Oh, I see. It is you who are unwilling.”
    Her voice was neutral, as if the matter had no great significance for her. In fact, although Joanna’s self-control was considerable, she would not have replied so indifferently had not so many violently opposed emotions caught at her simultaneously that she could express none. First came a strong and, to her, incomprehensible shock of disappointment. Her pride was hurt and to salve it, contempt came to her support. It was Geoffrey who was afraid of his father and who wished to place upon her the burden of repudiating the arrangement. That brought anger and, curiously, a sorrowful sense of relief, as if she was about to escape some great, unknown, but desirable, danger.
    “You fool! No!” Geoffrey exclaimed violently, seizing her arms.   He looked down at his own hands, pale against the dull color of Joanna’s everyday working garb, equally surprised at his words and his violence. He did not know what he had expected from Joanna, but it was neither the passionless rationality of her first statement nor the flat indifference of her second. She must marry someone, must she? And any turd on the ground was as good as any other. Doubtless there was no man she would consider her equal.
    “Do you think I am an idiot?” he continued sarcastically. “Where could I find an equal offer? You are very beautiful and very richand very virtuous also, Joanna. I only wished to be sure I was notnot swallowing an unwilling sacrificial victim whole. But I see you know what you are about.”
    The sarcasm came a few heartbeats too late, fortunately. Joanna was aware of little beyond the passionate repudiation of her accusation. Pleasure flooded her, to be checked by the vague sense of some awful dangera danger she knew she must flee and yet desired to examine more closely. Safety lay in immediate practicalities; perhaps from behind that bulwark, one could peer out and see the face of what really threatened.
    “You mean you thought my mother would sacrifice me to Ian’s need?” There was only the faintest quiver of uncertainty in Joanna’s voice. “I do not think so,” she went on hastily, not wishing to examine that subject. “And, in any case, the question did not ariseat least, not in connection with you. Really, Geoffrey, I was very well pleased when you were suggested to me. I know you long and well. It seemed to me most suitable.”
    “I am scarcely your match,” he offered stiffly, infuriated by all this calm reasoning, wanting to strike some spark, any spark, from her.
    “How can you say that?” Joanna urged, again missing the taunt and intent on practical, rather than emotional, things. “You are of good blood on both sides. You are well endowed with landsor will beas I am. You are the son of an earl and close to the throne. And you must be of merit in battle or Ian would not trust our men in your hands.”   For one instant, Geoffrey had a wild desire to push Joanna away, to shout that he was not willing, to ride back to Salisbury and tell his father the agreement must be withdrawn, that he could not bear to be married to Joanna. How could he endure to look upon that perfection, kiss it, caress it, bed it, as aa what? A suitable stallion for breeding young? A suitable substitute war leader? A suitable political pawn? The memory of endless kindness, enormous obligation checked the impulse. Whatever his relationship with Joanna cost him, Geoffrey knew he could not disappoint Ian to whom he owed so much.
    “If you are sure you are content, Joanna, then I am also content,” he said softly. “Let us sit down, if you are not too cold. I have some other matters to discuss with you.”