Judy Moody, M.D. by Megan McDonald Read Free Book Online

flap.
    “Here’s your fortune,” said Stink.
“Il y a un dragon dans mon lit.”
    “What’s that mean?” asked Judy. “Your friends are a bunch of cloney baloneys?”
    “It means, There’s a dragon in my bed,” Stink told her.
    “That’s it? That’s my fortune?”
    “It’s that or
My horse is dizzy,
” said Stink. “Those are the only two sentences I learned so far.”
    “I know one more,” said Judy.
    “You know French?” asked Stink.
    “Oui,”
said Judy. She took out her doctor pad. She wrote a prescription for Stink.

She, Judy Moody, was in a mood. A sick-of-being-sick mood. Even her bowling-ball pajamas didn’t cheer her up. They made her think of tonsils. Judy put on her around-the-world postcard pajamas.
    Dr. McCavity told Mom that Judy might not feel like herself again for about twelve days.
    Twelve days! Her human temperature was rising just thinking about it! Her blood pressure was skyrocketing! Twelve days before she could stop talking like a cat under water. Twelve days before she could learn any new bones or spell
scapula
or stay away from Antarctica.
    Twelve more days to feel like Bozo the Clone.
    Judy made up a song. “The Twelve Days of Tonsils.”

    That’s as far as she got before falling asleep. Again. She slept all through the second day of tonsils.
    Tonsils, Day 3: Judy drew an X-ray of her hand; an X-ray of Mouse; an X-ray of Jaws, her Venus flytrap; and one of Ned Bear.

    Tonsils, Day 4: Back to Dr. McCavity.
    Tonsils, Day 5: BOR-ing! Judy drew a map of her brain.
    Tonsils, Day 6: When she became a doctor, she would find a cure for fire-engine tonsils so sick people did not have to make X-rays of cats and maps of their brains all day.
    Tonsils, Day 7:
Ding, dong!
Maybe Stink was home from school. Judy crawled back under the covers, put her head under all her stuffed animals, and pretended to be asleep.
    “Knock-knock,” said Stink.
    “I’m asleep,” said Judy.
    “Knock-knock,” said Stink again.
    “Stink, have you been eating the BRAT diet again?”
    “Just say
Who’s there,
” said Stink.
    “Who’s there?” asked Judy.
    “US!” said Rocky, Frank, and Jessica Finch. All three of her UN-best friends!
    “What are YOU guys doing here?” Judy grumped. “You came to laugh at my chipmunk cheeks, didn’t you? You heard I have bowling-ball tonsils and came to tell me I look like Mumpty Dumpty.”
    “No!” said Frank. “We —”
    “Wait. Let me guess. You cloned an anteater. An armadillo. An aardwolf. Ha, ha. Very funny.”
    “We brought you something to make up . . . I mean, we brought you something to make you feel better,” said Rocky.
    “Nothing will make me feel better,” said Judy. “I feel lousy. As in licey. As in not-nicey.”
    “But this really works,” said Frank.
    “Is it a pill?” asked Judy. “I hope it’s not a pill the size of Nebraska.”
    “No.”
    “Is it a prune? I hope it’s not a goony old prune.”
    “Nope.”
    “Is it a Band-Aid? I hope it
is
a Band-Aid with words.”
    “No, no, and nope,” said Jessica Finch.
    “Does it squeak? I hear squeaking!”
    “Yes!” said Jessica.
    “Does it have fur, fins, or fangs?”
    “Yes!” said Stink.
    Rocky held up a shirt with words.
    “A shirt does not have fur or fins or fangs.”
    “Look,” said Frank, turning the shirt over. “We made it for you at Rocky’s house.” The shirt said PAWS FOR HEALING. It had blue guinea-pig paw prints all over it.
    “Hello! A shirt doesn’t squeak!” said Judy.
    “No,” said Rocky. “But pets do. We brought you animals to pet!”
    “Just like Paws for Healing,” said Frank.
    “So you can lower your blood pressure and not feel sick,” said Jessica.
    Rocky had brought Houdini, his pet iguana. Frank had brought a red-and-purple fish in a jar, and Jessica Finch had brought Chester and all four of the baby guinea pigs — the (un-cloned) Spice Girls!
    Stink went to his room and brought back Toady.
    “You brought half the zoo!” said