Just F*ck Me! by Eve Kingsley Read Free Book Online Page B

partner, you might realize it’s not nearly as exciting as you had fantasized. Again, this is totally and completely OK! There are any number of perfectly legitimate reasons why this might be the case.
     
    Not all fantasies need to be brought to life in order to be exciting. Some are simply more titillating when they’re left in the mind. If this sounds like what you’re thinking, it’s OK to let the initiative you took kind of go by the wayside in terms of action; you can always fantasize about it on your own time, if you get my drift.
     
    Once you start acting out your fantasies with your partner, it might occur to you that it wasn’t your partner you were fantasizing about in the role of alpha male. Again, don’t worry about it! It is perfectly healthy to have fantasies featuring men other than your partner. Heck, it’s perfectly healthy to have fantasies about women as well!
     
    This might be a bit about the roles involved in what you’re doing. You might want to play the role of the innocent girl who’s being taken advantage of by a man; maybe it’s a 1950s secretary/boss thing; anything is fair game in fantasies. So, it’s only natural that while you’re playing a certain role in your mind, you are picturing someone else in the other role.
     
    Also, the thought that you’re actually doing this together might make some part of you uncomfortable. There are scores of women everywhere who have a hard time being up front about sex and asking for (and receiving) what they want in the bedroom. If this sounds like you, then perhaps fantasizing that someone else is doing all of this is pretty normal.
     
    This also goes back to what we were talking about earlier regarding some women not wanting to take responsibility for their sexual pleasure on a subconscious level. If you feel that someone is making you get this excited by doing something you might consider taboo, then you probably don’t want to think that your real-life partner is the person doing it!
     
    WHAT IF IT JUST DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT?
     
    Of course, it might not be as good as you fantasized about simply because it isn’t. So, your next question should be, why?
     
    Have you given it enough time? This is an ongoing process, and it might take a good deal of time for you two to “click” when trying out new things in bed, particularly if you’ve been having the same kind of sex for a long time, or if you haven’t been feeling a connection with each other during your lovemaking for a while.
     
    Maybe it’s because your desire for male assertiveness isn’t sexually based. Perhaps you’re reacting to the feeling that you’re wearing the pants in this relationship, and you don’t love it. If, after taking a good, hard look, this appears to be true, then leave the bedroom antics alone and work on your relationship.
     
    It might not be working because his heart really isn’t in it. He might simply not enjoy treating you a certain way, or not derive any pleasure in being dominant in the bedroom. It happens! Perhaps you can talk about it and find something that would be mutually exciting, and get to work on that.
     
    To be blunt, it could be because your guy sucks at it. If you’ve tried everything you can think of and he’s just not getting it, then you have a couple of choices.
     
    For one, you can rent porn and watch it together, showing/telling him how hot certain scenes make you. In this case, porn can literally act as an instruction book! Sometimes, men need to be hit over the head with directions.
     
    If he sucks at it because he’s just being too timid, but seems to be into it otherwise, you can show/tell him in bed by really going over the top a few times. You can get a little forceful, say, by making him spank you until it’s at the force you want, or by ratcheting up the dirty talk to XXX level.
     
    But, if he really just plain sucks at it, it’s OK to drop it and go back to sexy alone time with your fantasies. Again, now that