Keller's Fedora (Kindle Single) by Lawrence Block Read Free Book Online Page B

Lexus’ than ‘that overpriced Japanese import you bought for your whore of a wife.’ May I continue?”
    “Sorry.”
    “I called the guy who got out of the van the unsub. That stands for—”
    “Unidentified Subject.”
    “I guess we watch the same TV shows. Other hand, Overmont must stick to PBS and the History Channel, because I had to translate the term for him. Anyway, Unsub exits vehicle, female subject meets and embraces him—”
    “That didn’t happen,” he said. “Well, it probably did, but I never observed it.”
    “I was embroidering, Pablo. Improving on the truth. The rest of it was straightforward enough. They’re in the house for whatever it was, half an hour, an hour, and then there’s another kiss and hug and a little canoodling as he gets in the van and drives off, and don’t tell me it didn’t happen, or that you didn’t see it, okay? I wanted to leave no doubt in his mind, and since you’re the only person who can swear you didn’t see it—”
    “I get the point.”
    “Well, good. Then you followed in close pursuit, and took your opportunity when it presented itself, bringing the proceedings to a satisfactory and permanent conclusion. You see what I did, Pablo? Lots of details early on, enough to sink the hook, and then nothing specific—no name, no location, no details on what you did or how you did it.”
    “That was really clever of you.”
    “That’s what I thought,” she said. “Turns out we were both wrong.”
    “How do you figure that?”
    “What I did,” she said, “is I drew him a blueprint. And what he did, the son of a bitch, is he followed it.”
    “I GUESS HE was all excited,” he told Julia. “His rival was out of the picture, and his wife didn’t even know it, and he decided to celebrate his victory. So what he did, he left his office early and went home.”
    “To Baker’s Bluff?”
    “That’s right. He figured his wife would be home, waiting for her boyfriend, and instead of a man in a van she’d get a husband in a Mercedes.”
    “It doesn’t rhyme,” she said.
    “Not many things rhyme with husband. Or Mercedes, as far as that goes.”
    “Hades, ladies, Rosie O’Grady’s. Nothing useful. Does he have children from a prior marriage? He could be a daddy in a Caddy, if you could get him to trade in the Mercedes. I’m sorry, I’m not letting you finish.”
    “You’re not the only one. What he did, he drove home, got there around three in the afternoon. And he parked across the street, because he was on the early side, and he thought he’d give her a little time to wonder what happened to her lover.”
    “And then what? ‘Ha ha, guess who’s not coming over?’”
    “That would have been really stupid,” he said, “although I’d say it’s not out of the question. But we’ll never know what he would have done, because while he was waiting, you’ll never guess what happened.”
    “The garage door opened.”
    “Good guess.”
    “And she backed out? No, somebody came in. Was he alive? The Marlboro Man?”
    “The garage door went up,” he said, “just as a white van turned into the driveway.”
    “Omigod. You smacked him twice with a hammer. He must have had a head made of cast iron.”
    “And then—”
    “To say nothing of his sex drive,” she went on, “and her irresistible animal magnetism, drawing him back from the brink of death. I’m sorry, I keep interrupting. What happened next? The garage door closed?”
    He shook his head. “The door of the house opened,” he said, “and she came out, Melania, and the two of them met. And no, it wasn’t the Marlboro Man.”
    “She gets around, this lady.”
    “She does. The two of them met somewhere between his van and her door, and they talked, and Todd sat in his car and watched. And then they went into the house and the door closed, and a little later the garage door closed, too, and nothing happened for three quarters of an hour.”
    “Nothing happened?”
    “Well,