so I held it up like a good soldier and fought the good fight. “Why did you enroll at the U of O? Why are you in here Eugene? What happened to Venus, Teagan?”
She whirled on me then, a force and fury that I recognized all too well. Now there's the girl I left behind. This calm, quiet new persona of hers was too weird, too unfamiliar. I didn't understand it at all.
“You don't own this town, Tyce, despite what some might say,” Teagan spat at me, reaching back and freeing the gorgeous orange and red of her hair from its ponytail. It was like a fall of autumn down her back, this flaming badge of pride that I wanted so desperately to run my fingers through. “And you don't own the university. I got a scholarship, a full ride, and I didn't have to toss around a ball to get it.”
“I fucking earned my place here,” I growled back at her, keeping my hands by my sides as she moved up close to me, glared right through the twelve inches that separated us. The wind blew a fierce stiletto of cold across my heated skin, bringing up goose bumps over my arms. “I worked my ass off. You know that.”
“Do I? Because the Tyce Winship I thought I knew seems to be good and dead. The Tyce Winship that I knew,” Teagan continues, putting her hand over her heart, “would never have left me behind. If he had to go, he would've let me know and I would've understood. What did you think, that I was going to hold you back?”
I stared into Teagan's eyes, but I couldn't make my lips form the words.
Yes. Yes, I did. I cared too much about you, but all I can care about is football. I have to make something of myself. I didn't want to trap you, Teagan. I didn't want to trap us.
“I see,” she said, licking her lips and moving away, turning around to stare into the navy blue waters of the Willamette. “Well, you can rest easy then, Tyce Winship, because I didn't come here for you. As I'm sure you remember, I don't have any family other than my mom and now, she's dead. It might come as a surprise to you, but selling movie tickets at the local theater doesn't exactly leave a lot of room for life insurance or trust funds. I got a scholarship at the U of O, so I followed the money, okay? I didn't come here for you.”
“What happened to Venus?” I asked, because I was starting to wonder if words were going to fail me completely. I wanted to shake Teagan at the same time I wanted to hug her, pull her small wild frame against me and tell her everything was going to be okay. But screw that. Screw it. No. I didn't sign up for any of this crap.
“Doesn't matter,” Teagan said, leaning over and putting her forehead against her arms. “She's dead now, so who cares? You weren't there when we needed you most. You took what you wanted from us and then you blew us off like we were nothing.” She raised her head and sent a piercing gaze my way, one that struck me right through the chest, made me feel like I was bleeding out. “And the worst part of it all is that you don't seem to give a crap.”
“That's where you're wrong,” I said, reaching out and taking her elbow in my hand. Teagan pulled away from me again, rubbing her hands down the moss green lycra fabric of her running jacket. “I'm sorry that I left, Tea.”
“Don't call me that.”
“I'm sorry that I left and that I didn't call, I wanted to.”
“Bullshit.”
I grabbed her arm again and squeezed hard, pulling her towards me.
“I did. I thought about going home so many times, about calling. But things got in the way.”
“You mean football?” she asked, lifting her chin proudly to glare at me. “Or girls. Because you seem to be having plenty of both.”
This time when Teagan pulled away from me, she turned and took off down the path.
Last time I fucked up, I let her jog away from me. Somehow, I found her anyway. That was fate or God or karma or whatever you want to call it. But fate only gives you so many chances. If I didn't fix this thing, or at least find
Malala Yousafzai, Christina Lamb