Last Call by David Lee Read Free Book Online

quit hollering
    was with a hacksaw
    neighbors a mile off heard me and come down
    fore she got me cut aloost
    seen where I couldn’t help it
    peed all over my bed
    I couldn’t do nothing but lay in it
    so don’t tell me or Billy about no worst pain
    because it aint never the worse
    it’s always something better’n that
    you can bet on it anyday
    besides, here come the fatnurse
    so you better be getting ready, now.

Lake Hills, Texas A Tale of Rapunzel’s Lover
    Once in his mind
    an open window
    moonflooded
    upon a sweat and sex stained
    flat twin bed
    sheet curtain
    made at Postex Cotton Mill, Texas
    and shipped to J. C. Penney
    in San Antonio
    paflumped its belly
    against blacksnake wind
    crawling forty years backward
    into the tornado crazed
    Algerita Hotel bedroom
    of his darkest memory
    you just bed not go back in that place again
    she might be Eve in the garden
    or that Lilith or mebbe the bruja they say
    even though he knew
    he would find his way
    through the nightmare maze
    many times
    to learn if the story’s end
    might change
    she beside him
    lying upon a moon shard
    in the Duffy Hotel in Bandera
    instead of locking him outside
    her mind’s door
    where he stands, still
    trying to find a way
    to get back
    into his
    even now
    even then
    after all that

Zen and the Art of German Engineering
    1
    For his 74th birthday
    Charles E. Carr, Sr. the Second
    received fifteen dollars in the mail
    with a handscribbled signature
    inside a Judy’s Motel notepad tear away
    from your son Charles E. Carr, Junior III.
    which burned an archetypal hole
    in his proverbial pocket
    until he went
    to Hamilton Drug Store
    found the Braun Electric Dry Razor
    he’d heard about on radio and t. v.
    said How much is it?
    Gordon Hamilton said Seventeen seventy-five
    Holy cow he said
    I bought a Remington
    out the Sears catalog
    for six dollars
    not that long ago
    That would have been in 1936
    said Gordon Hamilton
    the cheapest model
    I got one, too
    and it wasn’t worth a damn
    these ones are good
    made all the way over to Germany
    I only got fifteen dollars
    said Charles E. Carr, Sr.
    Gordon Hamilton said
    I’ll think about it
    come back and see me this afternoon
    Charles E. Carr, Sr.
    drove to Bill Edwards Hardware and Appliance
    two blocks away
    said Can you order me
    a Braun Electric Dry Razor?
    Bill Edwards got his book out
    said Yes I can
    it’ll be sixteen dollars and fifty cents
    including shipping
    be here next Tuesday
    Charles E. Carr, Sr. said
    I’ll think about it
    get back to you this afternoon
    drove back to Hamilton Drug
    said Gordon, Ign get that razor
    down to Bill Edwards
    for under sixteen dollars
    Gordon said Is that right?
    Charles E. Carr, Sr. said Yep
    though I’d of rather do bidness
    with you being a neighbor
    but I still only have fifteen
    What if I sell it to you for fifteen fifty?
    What if Bill Edwards went to fifteen?
    I’ll go fifteen and a quarter, no less
    yougn get a quarter from your wife
    I can?
    Yep
    How’d you know that?
    What if I called and asked her?
    You didn’t do that
    What if I did?
    Can you gift wrap it?
    It’s a birthday present
    2
    On the morning after his 74th birthday
    Charles E. Carr, Sr. the Second
    broke out in a blood bright rash
    head to neck
    down his shoulders, arms
    scratched himself raw and moaned
    like a three tawn cat in heat
    his wife
    stuffed him in the Buick
    drove to Dr. Tubbs
    You got shingles
    said the Dr.
    Is it some pills I can take for it?
    said Charles E. Carr, Sr.
    Yessir, but it’s going to take some time
    said Dr. Tubbs
    How much?
    Dollars or time?
    You’re going to be taking penicillin
    and administering calamine lotion
    for at least a month
    on all afflicted areas
    including some you might not
    know about yet
    Month?
    Yessir and I hope your missus
    will come to enjoy your looks
    because you’re going to get downright scruffy
    not being able to shave the whole time
    3
    Forty days forty