Last Call by David Lee Read Free Book Online Page B

educationists or committees?
    Probably prayer before the meeting starts
    You don’t approve of praying
    Not in public, nosir, but that’s not the point
    What is then?
    Praying before an education meeting is akin to beseeching omnipotent
    permission
    in this instance to enact revisionist precepts of the moronic and mundane
    a silly concept for which I have neither patience, respect nor time of day
    I would rather proceed without same then ask forgiveness for idiotic
    transgression
    which is a Christian, even a Baptist Christian, obligation to remit
    The people on that committee are too intellectually rigid to even
    acknowledge that
    I see what you mean
    I accept that analysis maintaining reservations
    It’s not a big deal anyway, Billy, being more figurehead than reality
    I doubt that committee even has the authority to disband itself
    Full circle, full cliché
    if nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve
    being unwilling to lead or follow in this meaningless matter
    I move to cease discussion and approve my stance by acclamation
    that movement being neither debatable nor amendable
    I second that motion and vote yea
    That, sir, being a highly commendable votive castureation worthy of one PBR
    Which I accept with honor
    Let us go then you and I
    while the evening spreads against the sky
    like alcoholics to the School Board Meeting
    I, sir, am not an alcoholic
    I am a votive casturationist drunk
    The difference being?
    Alcoholics go to meetings
    I’m going to Adolph’s
    Perhaps you do know Jack Shit
    and in that light
    I, sir, will be your Sancho Panza
    Let’s shine, compadre
    stars aglitter in mud puddles
    let us go forth and shine

Higher Authority
    Oh Hell! what do mine eyes with grief behold?
    â€”Paradise Lost
IV, 360
    1
    What are you doing!
    Oh god
    Oh shit
    Jimmy Don who is that in my
    Kim Pierce! What are you
    I can explain Mrs Strachioner
    No you can’t
    Oh god
    Young lady you get out of my bedroom
    Baby, I can
    Don’t you Baby me Get out of my bed
    that piece of flesh you’re with is a high school student, a minor
    you should be really Really ashamed of yourself
    you concubine chasing scum sucker child molesting snotty nosed Poland
    China boar hog
    I don’t want to ever see you again
    Really, I can
    Don’t you say another word, Miss Pierce
    you get your clothes on
    and yourself out of my house
    Oh shit
    And I can tell you one more thing, young lady
    you are getting an unexcused absence
    for this
    Oh Hell! There goes my reputation
    Baby, we can work this out
    No we can’t, we won’t
    get your clothes on
    both of you get out of this house
    If this gets around I’m dead
    Jerry Tey will ask
    for his class ring back, I know it
    Get out of this house Now
    Baby, you need to set down
    and think this over
    Jimmy Don, you have one minute
    to be out of this house
    I’m getting the shotgun
    and I won’t be particular
    about where I’m aiming
    Oh god
    You have 54 seconds left
    Oh shit, I think she means it
    Oh god
    50 seconds
    I know where it is and it’s loaded
    I’m leaving, I’m leaving
    You don’t have any clothes on, Kimmie
    You can go fuck yourself, Mister Strachioner
    I’m not getting shot over this
    44
    Baby
    42
    I’m out
    I’m out
    just settle down
    38
    2
    Elder Ezell when I was a little girl
    back when you were only a Deacon
    Mama always told me you were our friend
    the one person I could come to and trust if I had a bad problem
    to listen and help me through it
    if they were gone or if I thought they couldn’t help
    besides going to the preacher
    I don’t know Brother Ronnie Parker
    that well yet he’s too new to the church
    I wouldn’t feel comfortable
    going to him even if he is our Minister
    will you hear me as my Elder and my friend
    and offer any advice you have on what to do next?
    Your mama was Maypearl Fleming wasn’t she?
    married to Floyd Fleming before he died
    when? back in