Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians by Corey Andrew, Kathleen Madigan, Jimmy Valentine, Kevin Duncan, Joe Anders, Dave Kirk Read Free Book Online Page A

people come all the time, which is great. I do write a lot, so it’s not like they’re gonna see the same stuff.
     
    Corey: What about weird regulars?
     
    Kathleen: Yeah, but you sort of get to know the person. There’s one couple in Detroit—an older couple—and they come every time and sit in the front. It’s so sweet but weird. It’s like, ‘Oh wow, they’re here again.’
     
    Corey: Do people feel they get to know you because they’ve seen you a lot?
     
    Kathleen: Yeah, but they do, because after a show I’m around. The old couple in Detroit, I’ve hung out and drank with them. If I was in Detroit and had a problem, I’d call ’em. You know what I’m saying?
     
    Corey: Car breaks down, you know who to call.
     
    Kathleen: Totally. ‘Oh, Kathleen, we’ll come and get you!’
     
    Corey: And then they’ll tie you up in their basement.
     
    Kathleen: Exactly.
     
    Corey: You seem like a very laid-back person. Is there anything that gets your ire up?
     
    Kathleen: The airport. I swear you’re gonna see me on CNN as the crazy lady arrested in some airport. It’s the Irish in me, too. The rules are ridiculous. My sister Kate said, ‘But Kathleen, Barack Obama is so full of hope. Don’t you have any hope left?’ I lost hope for this country when they took the pillows out of coach on American Airlines. If we can’t afford a three-cent piece of shit made in China so my neck doesn’t break, we have lost.
     
    Corey: Will this be your first time going to Iraq to perform?
     
    Kathleen: Yeah, I’ve been asked to go before, but the people that were going there were people I wouldn’t want to spend that much time with.
     
    Corey: Good luck there. That’s pretty exciting.
     
    Kathleen: You’ll know if something goes wrong, Corey. On the crawl it will say, ‘Kid Rock, Lewis Black and another lady went down in a helicopter crash in Kabul.’ I’ll just be an unidentified lady. You can call and tell them, ‘No, no, I know who that is!’
     
    Corey: I’ll make sure they say something nice about you.
     
    Kathleen: Please attend my wake in St. Louis and get hammered with my brothers and sister.
     
    As years passed, I became more interested in what life was like for a traveling comic. I am happy that Kathleen offered a realistic depiction.
     
    Kathleen: I just got off a crazy, horrible flight from Portland.
     
    Corey: And you’re a big fan of the air travel.
     
    Kathleen: Oy. At some point I wish a gunman would come on. (laughs) And just start randomly firing. And maybe I’d get hit and maybe I wouldn’t! Just start clearing some people out of here.
     
    Corey: Other than that how’s life been treating you?
     
    Kathleen: Oh fine and dandy. All’s good. Portland couldn’t get weirder. On my way to the airport I saw these bumper stickers that read, “Keep Portland weird.” I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem. Don’t worry about the weird. I prefer Seattle because it’s a little richer. At this age I’d like to know where the money is. Work is all good. I’m very sad about my friend Greg Giraldo.
     
    Corey: You don’t have a dark side and your comedy does not come from that dark place. We do see a lot of that. Do you think it’s sort of a requirement to be that type of comic?
     
    Kathleen: No, I don’t. About 90 percent of my comic friends aren’t that, but the 10 percent that are, are kinda famous, so everybody hears about that. Also, I do think our job will speed that up. If you work at IBM, you can’t just walk in and start drinking at 9 in the morning. People are gonna think that’s weird. If I go to the club and go, ‘Hey somebody get me a beer,’ not only do they do it, nobody thinks that’s weird. Technically, I’m at work.
     
    If you are so inclined to behave like that, our job affords you a very fast highway to getting there. They will probably look at you oddly if you don’t drink. I don’t know about the drug thing because it’s never been my thing. A