Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians by Corey Andrew, Kathleen Madigan, Jimmy Valentine, Kevin Duncan, Joe Anders, Dave Kirk Read Free Book Online

have children.’
     
    Corey: I imagine Hot Pockets need to stay cold.
     
    Jim: I have signed many boxes of Hot Pockets.
     
    Corey: Are you a smooth or crunchy man when it comes to peanut butter?
     
    Jim: I go through phases, depends on what kind of mood I’m in. That Flufferrnutter, you ever have that? That’s like poison, right? That’s made of trans fat and trans fat. Trans fat and polyester. I’ve also heard peanut butter and bacon sandwiches were good.
     
    Corey: I think Elvis used to indulge in those.
     
    Jim: He was very much a bacon man. Really, bacon on anything is good.
     
    Corey: What about turkey bacon?
     
    Jim: You bring home the bacon; you don’t bring home the tofu strips.
     

Kathleen Madigan
     
     
     
    You want the low-down on a comic? Get to her pop!
     
    In this case, Kathleen Madigan’s dad, Jack.
     
    Papa Madigan shared with me a compliment paid to Kathleen by playwright Neil Simon. “He prefaced it with, ‘Some people think I’m a pretty good writer. Kathleen, I can write comedy, but I can’t perform it. You have not only the ability to write great material, but you have the ability to perform great material. And I don’t know anyone else in the business that could do that except Gracie Allen.’”
     
    Not impressed? Well, the good, Midwestern, Irish girl has also befriended one of the all time late-night leaders, Jay Leno, who shared this with me:
     
    “ She’s an excellent comic. Her material is not gender-specific. I like it because I could do her jokes; Jerry Seinfeld could do her jokes. She could do our jokes. It crosses all lines; it’s funny. I’ve seen guys fall out of their chairs at her sports stuff. To me, that’s the mark of a good comic when you can entertain any audience.”
     
    Kathleen was one of my first comedian interviews back in the mid-’90s, when I was clearly still green, though she humored me well. Here’s a portion of that interview, followed by some of the chats we’ve had this century.
     
    Corey: Being on the road so much, what kind of difficulties are there as far as personal relationships go?
     
    Kathleen Madigan: Oh, they are virtually impossible unless you marry an airline pilot or somebody who is gone as much as you.
     
    Corey: How long are you willing to sacrifice that for your career?
     
    Kathleen: That's a good question. I don't know. I guess I'll know when the time comes. When I'm sick of it, I guess. But to me, being home two weeks a month is a ton. I’m home a lot, and I get bored very quickly.
     
    Corey: How often do you get hecklers?
     
    Kathleen: Not as often as the guys. First of all, I'm only 5-foot-1, and since I'm a woman guys feel a little more hesitant.
     
    Corey: There seem to be a lot of vocal bachelorette parties at the comedy clubs, though.
     
    Kathleen: Oh, they're the worst. And I'm a woman, and I hate to say it, but drunk women are the worst—especially bachelorette parties. They probably haven't seen each other in a while, and they want to talk. It always boggles my mind; why you would come someplace you have to be quiet? It's bizarre. Drunk women can be very brutal.
     
    Corey: What was your first time onstage like?
     
    Kathleen: I was nervous at first, but then when I got up there it was no big deal. I bartended for a while so I was used to talking to strangers.
     
    Corey: When you started, did you have a specific set?
     
    Kathleen: Yeah, I thought about it. People who don't think about it, no matter how funny they are, are going to find themselves lost.
     
    Corey: You're Catholic. How far will you go with that in your material?
     
    Kathleen: I'll go as far as I want with Catholicism. That's because most Catholics have a good sense of humor. So, they're not as rigid about making fun of it. You say something about Baptists in the South, and it could get really ugly. They take it very seriously.
     
    Corey: Do you notice regulars that come to your shows?
     
    Kathleen: Oh yeah, in every city certain