Laughter in the Wind by SL Harris Read Free Book Online Page B

She needed to get her thoughts sorted out before she started working on sharing them with someone else, especially her mother.
    “I gotta run,” she said, putting her dishes in the sink. “Do you need anything from town?”
    “No.” Her mother stood from her chair at the table and grabbed Rebecca in a quick hug before she could get past her. “I love you, Bec.”
    “What was that all about?” Rebecca muttered to herself as she grabbed her books and headed out to the Buick. Not only was she having trouble recognizing herself, now her mother was acting weird, too.
    * * *
     
    The daydreams of Friday were dominated by one topic. What am I going to do if she is interested in me…and if I’m interested in her? Rebecca sometimes believed she could over-analyze things a bit but this was a pretty important topic, so she let herself go. I think I kind of like the idea. Do I like it because someone is interested, because Olivia is interested, or because a woman is interested…or because I’m interested in her? If I like it because it’s a woman, is that why I’ve never had a real boyfriend? Is that why I was totally distracted by my high-school English teacher’s breasts my sophomore year, but never gave my math teacher a second glance, even though all my friends thought he was really hot? Surely I couldn’t get this far in life without figuring out if I’m gay…lesbian or not.
    After going through her classes in a daze, Rebecca found her work-study boss and made an unusual request. She lied about having an upcoming test and asked for the afternoon off to study. She had made a pact with herself to try to always be honest but this was just going to have to be an exception. The clamor in her head was becoming deafening and she needed desperately to find a quiet place to sort it all out. Time was getting short. She had to figure something out before 10:30 Saturday morning, which was less than a day away.
    By the time Rebecca had driven five miles out of town to Piney Creek, she was exhausted by the din in her head. She locked up the Buick and headed down the overgrown trail along the creek bank, looking out at the clear water drifting past. She loved the rivers and creeks in this part of Missouri and Piney Creek was pretty quiet this time of year. About a quarter mile from the trailhead was a large, flat-topped rock which jutted out over the current. She clambered up onto it and watched the water rush by, trying to quiet down her thoughts so she could concentrate on one idea at a time.
    The water always seemed to have a calming effect on her and today was no different. It was almost like the current washed away all the chaff from her thoughts, allowing her to focus on what was important. After about an hour, she was starting to get a little chilled and her butt was getting sore from sitting on the hard, cold rock, but the clamor in her head had stilled. She walked back to the Buick feeling a little lighter than before, confident in her decision to be honest with herself and at least have the courage to find the answers, to discover what, or who , she did or didn’t want. Self-deception or running from the unknown served her no purpose. A little courage was called for and she vowed to keep an open mind until she really knew how she felt. When she reached that point, she knew more courage might be necessary for her to act on her feelings, but she would worry about that when the time came.
    Rebecca arrived home a little earlier than usual and her mother asked her about it as soon as she came in the front door.
    “Oh, I took off work this afternoon. I can make it up over the next week by working my lunch break. I’ll just take a PB&J sandwich and eat it at the desk.” Rebecca knew this answer wouldn’t satisfy her mother so she added, “I just needed some time to think so I went down to Piney Creek for a while.”
    “Well, did you solve the great questions of world peace, or feeding the hungry, or anything else with