Lauren Ipsum: A Story About Computer Science and Other Improbable Things by Carlos Bueno Read Free Book Online Page B

your coins for one Fair
Coin.”
    “Why two to one?” she asked.
    “Good question!” Trent said. “Most people don’t know this, but
it’s possible to get absolutely Fair flips out of even the most unfair coin.”
    “I don’t believe you.”
    “Here, let me show you.” Trent reached into his drawer and handed her a large,
heavy coin. “This is a fake Fair Coin. It looks just like a real one, doesn’t it? But
it’s easy to tell it’s fake because it comes up Heads a lot more than
Tails.”
    “So how do you get a fair flip?” Laurie asked.
    “Just flip it twice. If you get Heads-Tails, use Heads as your answer. If it comes up
Tails-Heads, use Tails as your answer. If you get Heads-Heads or Tails-Tails, just start
over.”
    H + T =
Heads
T + H =
Tails
H + H = Start
over
T + T = Start
over
    “Oh, I see. The unfairness cancels itself out!”
    “Right you are. No matter how unfair a coin is, the odds of getting Heads then Tails
will always be exactly the same as getting Tails then Heads.”
    Trent Escrow solemnly exchanged Laurie’s five coins and lucky poker chip for three Fair
Coins.
    “And that’s why the rate is two to one.”
    “Thank you!” Laurie rushed outside to catch the baker before he closed.
Dinner!

Chapter 12. An Improbable Twist

    As Laurie ran out of the bank, a fat policeman grabbed her by the collar. “Got
you!” he said. “Why are you running? Did you rob the bank, too?”
    “What? Who are you? Let me go!” Laurie yelled.
    “I’m Officer Custody, and you are in big trouble,” the
policeman said. “Lauren Ipsum, if that is your real name, I arrest you on
charges!”
    “What charges? What are you talking about?”
    “That doesn’t matter!” Custody shouted in Laurie’s ear, shaking her
around. “Charges!”
    “Ow! But what charges?” Laurie repeated. The officer’s
hold on her was painful. People on the street were starting to point and stare. If there ever were a
time Laurie wished she could disappear like a Steganosaurus, it was now!
    “You’re going to be difficult? Let’s do it nice and proper, if you
insist!” Custody took out a roll of paper and cleared his throat.
    “Lauren Ipsum, you are hereby under arrest for Attempted Mythology, Counterfeiting Fair
Coins, two counts of Impersonating a Composer, Hacking in the Third Degree, and
Miscellaneous Mopery with Intent to Creep!”
    “Let me go! You’re the creep!” Laurie tried to twist away, but his grip was
too strong. Just then, a shout rang out from the crowd.
    “ Hey, Custody! Why are you beating up on little
girls? ”
    A tough-looking woman stepped forward to confront the policeman. She wore big boots, black
gloves, and an eyepatch in the shape of a heart.
    “This isn’t a girl, Losesome. This is a dangerous criminal! She broke through our
perimeter security,” Custody said.
    “You mean Jane, that little old lady at the gate?” the woman asked.
    “Officer Hecate, yes!”
    “Come on, Custody. Jane isn’t hard to fool. Last week I told her I was Santa
Claus.” People in the crowd chuckled.
    “That’s beside—”
    “And what the heck is ‘Attempted Mythology’?” the woman interrupted.
“I think you just made that up.”
    “What? I—”
    “How do you even know you have the right person?”
    “She matches the description!” Custody insisted.
    “Really? She doesn’t look like Santa Claus to me!”
    “ No ,” he said. “She matches the description of the
hacker who came through this afternoon!”
    “So you are saying a child was able to get through all of your super-duper
security?” the woman said, arching an eyebrow skeptically.

    “Well—”
    “Anyway, this girl is my assistant.”
    By now Custody was thoroughly confused. “This little . . . she works for you ?”
    “Of course. She’s helping me test the security of this place. And if a child can run circles around you . . .” She shook her head.
“Let’s just say, it doesn’t look good.”
    “But you’re—”
    The