Life Penalty by Joy Fielding Read Free Book Online

all right? You must be a mess, you poor thing. To think that we were out shopping when it happened. I feel so … responsible somehow, like it’s my fault …” she drifted off.
    “Don’t be silly, Nancy,” Gail said gently, trying to comfort her friend in much the same way Laura had done for her just minutes before, “how could what happened possibly be your fault?”
    “Well, I know it isn’t really,” Nancy concurred, and Gail marveled at how subtly Nancy had been able to shift the focus of the conversation to herself. There was no way that Nancy could relate to what she was going through, Gail realized. Nancy’s two children only rarely had anything to do with their mother. She had largely ignored them during their so-called formative years, only to dismiss them as ungrateful when they chose to live with their father after the divorce. Whenever Gail made themistake of glowing over her own offspring, Nancy’s mouth would curl into a knowing smile and she would say, “Just wait till they get a little older and they start dumping all over you. You’ll see.” How could Nancy possibly understand what Gail was going through? For that matter, how could anyone?
    “Thank you for the flowers,” Gail said sincerely.
    “It was very thoughtful of you to send such beautiful arrangements.”
    “Are they all right?” Nancy asked, suddenly unsure. “I didn’t know what to do, whether you’d consider flowers appropriate …”
    “Pink was Cindy’s favorite color.” Gail repeated her earlier statement, wanting to share something of her child with her friend.
    There was an uncomfortable silence. “I better go and let you get some rest,” Nancy said finally. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Or listen, maybe
you
should phone
me.
I don’t want to disturb you or interrupt anything, so why don’t you phone me. Will you do that? Gail?”
    “What?”
    “Will you phone me tomorrow when you get the chance?”
    “Oh sure,” Gail agreed flatly.
    “Do you promise?”
    Mommy, when we die, can we die together? Can we die holding hands? Do you promise?
    “I promise,” Gail said, and hung up the receiver.
    That night in bed, Gail dreamt that she and Cindy were boarding a crowded bus, which seemed to get more crowded as they pushed their way into the middle of it. There were no seats and she and Cindy were forced to stand, their bodies pressed tightly against those around them. After a few minutes, the air seemed to grow thinnerand one man collapsed next to her, but because of the number of others squeezed like sardines together, he remained standing. There was nowhere for him to fall, and Gail was forced to bear his weight, his chin pressed against the back of her neck. She could tell by the man’s absence of breath that he was dead. Suddenly, the doors sprang open and the crowd surged outside, tearing Cindy from her mother, propelling her out onto the street. Gail’s hands flailed vainly about, searching for her child, but she caught only air, abruptly finding herself at the entrance to Memorial Park, stunned in the realization that she was utterly alone. She began racing frantically through the park, seeing nothing, finding no one.
    She turned a corner and suddenly she was in the Short Hills Mall, in Bloomingdale’s. The crowd from the bus had reappeared and was frantically buying up everything in sight.
    Gail looked beyond the crowd and saw a small clump of bushes and the receding figure of a young man. He was carrying a plastic bag from Bloomingdale’s. The bag seemed to be moving. Gail gasped with the realization that Cindy was inside the bag. She started pushing her way through the crowd.
    “Can I help you?” a saleslady asked, approaching and taking hold of Gail’s. arm.
    Gail pushed the woman aside, hearing her voice pledging assistance, as Gail shoved her way past one person and then another.
    The young man disappeared behind the clump of bushes just as Gail extricated herself from the mob. She raced toward the