Life Swap by Jane Green Read Free Book Online Page A

Vicky. And then I got married and was dragged into the real world.’
    Vicky shrugs. ‘I can’t help it. I just want to wear that white meringue down the aisle.’
    ‘God forbid.’ Janelle puts her hand on her heart and raises her eyes to the ceiling. ‘No employee of Poise! is ever going to get married in a white meringue, not when Matthew Williamson would make you something fabulous.’
    ‘Well I’ll let you know when to contact him,’ Vicky snorts, ‘but I’m warning you: don’t hold your breath.’
    ‘And in the meantime you just enjoy those marathon sexsessions while you’re still getting them,’ Leona says.
    ‘Right, back to features,’ Janelle interrupts. ‘Much as I’d like to hear about your sexlives all day, we’ve got a magazine to get out.’
    Every now and then a story comes out that captures the media’s imagination, and speed sexends up being one of those stories. The spring issue hits the newsstands at the end of February, and almost immediately the features desks of newspapers pick up the story, followed quickly by radio and TV.
    Vicky had given the story to Deborah to write, figuringthat as a married mother of three Deborah would presumably be well versed in speed sex, and even if she wasn’t she was an experienced-enough journalist to be able to pull it off.
    Deborah had filled the copy with quotes, and three case studies of married couples who thought speed sex was the answer to their prayers, and only indulged in anything longer on the occasional times when they were on holiday without the children, which didn’t happen very often.
    The case studies had agreed to be photographed in the magazine, and had already appeared on This Morning and GMTV . Deborah was flattered that her career picked up again instantly, with magazines and newspapers she hadn’t heard from for years suddenly getting in touch with her and asking her to do features.
    Vicky has just got back to her desk after an extended lunchbreak in the local park, where she and Leona had ignored the fact that this was London and they were surrounded by office workers eating sandwich lunches, and had subsequently stripped down to bra and knickers (that were actually shorts) to take advantage of the unseasonably hot day.
    Ruth buzzes her. ‘Deborah’s on the phone,’ she says. ‘She wants to talk to you about some radio show she can’t do. Do you want to take it?’
    ‘Of course,’ Vicky says, and picks up the phone. ‘Hi, Deb. Still enjoying your new-found celebrity? Did I hear you were on the Wright Stuff the other day?’
    ‘I know!’ Deborah giggles. ‘My kids are thrilled. Theykeep telling everyone their mum’s famous. Did you see it?’
    ‘No. Sorry. How was it?’
    ‘It was great, but I looked terrible. I was enormous.’
    Vicky shakes her head silently. Deborah can’t have been enormous. Inarticulate? Possibly. Nervous? Probably. But enormous? ‘How can you have been enormous when you’re, what, a size six?’
    ‘Actually I’m an eight, but that’s not the point. Just as we were going on air they zoomed in on me and I saw myself on this bloody monitor, and I swear I’m all chin. I never even realized I had a double chin and now all I see when I look in the mirror is chin.’
    Vicky laughs. ‘That’s ridiculous. You’re slim and beautiful, and you absolutely do not have a double chin.’
    ‘Well if you ever decide to do an article on removing your double chin, I’ll be the guinea pig.’
    Vicky laughs again.
    ‘I’m serious,’ Deborah says earnestly. ‘I’m seriously thinking about it. Can’t I do a piece for you about it? Apparently they do it with liposuction and there’s no scarring, nobody would ever know. They just go in behind your ears and one tiny incision under your chin and suck all the excess chin out.’
    ‘Oh my God. You’re serious. You’ve looked into this. Deborah, for Christ’s sake, you do not have a double chin! What does Dick think about this?’
    ‘He thinks I’m