Living With Regret by Lisa de Jong Read Free Book Online

your braces on? Oh, and we can’t forget when your dad made you read the law journal after you stayed out here too late. Remember that?”
    I nod.
    He continues, “You didn’t think you’d ever make it through any of that but you’re still perched on the edge of this creek.”
    Rolling my eyes, I watch as the wind creates small ripples in the water. Sam literally knows everything about me. He listens even when I think he’s not. Whether I’m talking about an action packed movie or an outfit my mom made me wear, he soaks in all of it. I do the same for him—hanging on his every word. “Are you ready to go back to school?”
    “Hell no!” he shouts, tossing a small rock into the water. “I’m ready for this year to be over. So I can go on with the rest of my life.”
    “Yeah? What are you going to do?” Sam hates school, but he also hates working for his dad. I don’t think he even knows what his future looks like.
    “I have nine months to figure that out.” My eyes are still on the water but I feel him looking at me. I take a few seconds before meeting them with my own. The way the sun hits his face makes his brown eyes sparkle. They’re easily my favorite things about Sam. “You’ll be here for another four years so that gives me something to look forward to.”
    The way he looks at me is different, or at least, I’m reading it that way. His eyes hold me. I couldn’t let go of his stare even if I wanted to. I should say something, break the spell, but I can’t.
    He leans in slowly. The closer he comes, the more I think he might kiss me, and I quickly realize that I want him to. I like Sam. He’s one of my best friends, but there’s something deeper I have missed until just now. The longer he looks at me, the more I feel it in my veins.
    Sam Shea is my everything and maybe more.
    Before we touch, he stops, reaching up to brush my hair behind my ear. “Is that better?” he asks, leaning back.
    A ball of disappointment wedges itself in my throat. I wanted that kiss, like really, really wanted it, but Sam didn’t feel the same. Maybe I imagined everything. The way he looked at me. The lust in his eyes. Maybe I’m just too young for any of this.
    I nod, biting down on my lower lip to push back tears. I hate being a girl sometimes.
    Cory and I started dating shortly after. That’s when things changed because Cory and Sam couldn’t exist together. Now, I regret ever losing Sam as a friend. He became an acquaintance, someone I said Hi to whenever we crossed paths. He became a painful memory – not because of what happened between us – but what I lost when I left him behind. Young love clouded my judgment, and I’d do anything to have Sam back in my life. I need someone who will listen to me, and who won’t pass judgment along the way.
    “All right, honey, I’m going to head out. I’ll stop back after dinner,” Mom says softly. She gently squeezes my hand then disappears from the room.
    After a few minutes of staring at the door, I pick up my phone and scan my contacts. Toward the top are Cory, Madison, Kate, Mom, Dad, and as I scroll down, I see Sam’s name. I haven’t talked to him in a long time. I don’t even know if he still has the same phone number, but I yearn for a piece of the past. I crave something normal and simple, and thinking of him reminds me of a time when things were just that.
    He brought me out of my darkness back then, and I wonder if he ever misses those times, because I think I brought him out of the darkness, too. I wonder if he thinks about me at all. When you’re young, the phases of life change so fast. Immaturity overrides common sense. Looking back, I wish I’d still made time for Sam after beginning my relationship with Cory. He meant too much for me to just leave him behind.

    My phone rings for the first time since I’ve been here, startling me. I pull it from the bedside table, seeing Kate’s name on the display.
    I answer, bringing the phone to my ear.