Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) by Tali Alexander Read Free Book Online Page B

if I was intoxicated or perhaps hoping she’d actually know my future, since my reality at the time took an unforeseeable turn.I believe she was the reason I went back to New York to see Sara again to try and explain. Try to break up with her and let us both move on. I had every intention to never see her again. Sara had her whole life ahead of her. She was a baby who just graduated high school, and I was a new attorney who had a career to build. Even if for only a short time, Jacqueline was my future, not Sara. But seeing the girl I couldn’t stop thinking about, coupled with the old woman’s taunting words, was my ruin. She planted the seed, and I watered it with empty promises and willed it to life.
    But everything seems trivial and too late to try and make sense of now.
    Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go I wanna be sedated. The lyrics circle around in my head instead of a litany I can’t bring myself to compose. But the Ramones can’t help me now … only a higher being can lend a hand now. There is nothing left of my insides that my guilt hasn’t eaten away at already.
    My door opens as William Knight enters, shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets, utterly defeated. I recognize the guilt on his face all too well. I can only imagine the immense remorse he’s dealing with at having not been there to help Sara. He walks over to a window and starts talking to me without glancing my way once.
    “The universe never gets it wrong. Even if you fib, con, and steal a small morsel of hope that isn’t yours, the universe will find a way to autocorrect and seize it back from you. I assumed I was coming back to castigate her for allowing you to touch her. I was then gonna apologize for leaving her on her own and fight for my future wife and child. Eight hours ago, my only fear was that I’d lost her to you. I couldn’t comprehend you two on the floor in our home wrapped in each other’s arms. Now, mother universe, once more, demonstrates that it’s not about my egotistical idealizations, but someone’s life. And if I’m honest, it’s the only life I care about anymore—more so than my own. The last time I saw her, she was alive, gorgeous, perfect, and had my life growing inside her, and now, I bloody hope that she stops hemorrhaging and continues to exist. I just want her okay and out of this wretched hospital and this horrible city, and as far away from everybody but me as possible. But it matters not what I want; I have no control over anything,” he declares, which takes me a few minutes to digest.
    “William.” I say his name to try and explain what his guard thinks he saw. But he won’t let me speak. I doubt he can even hear me.
    “They have her in the recovery unit and the medics should come see you soon. Being that you’re her husband.” He snorts out a sarcastic laugh.
    I inhale his words and look over as Sara’s brother, Eddie, and his best friend, Louis, walk into my room. They, too, hardly look my way and proceed to sit on a few of the scattered chairs by the wall. Both have a hollow stare in their eyes that echoes my own. I glace back as the door opens once more; Emily returns and nods her head at me.
    An older, plump gentleman in green scrubs with squeaky black rubber shoes enters the room moments after Emily. He speaks first to Eddie, who then beckons William to come join the conversation. They all look my way simultaneously and begin to approach. I can hear the doctor speak, but I can’t make out his words. I’m fairly certain I’m brain-dead. He suddenly turns his full attention and initiates to speak directly at me, as if he knows that his patient means everything to me.
    “We were able to stop the internal bleeding, which was the main cause of the septic shock her body experienced. The ectopic mass was the cause of the catastrophic tubal rupture that led to the massive hemoperitoneum.”
    I continue to stare at him with a dazed, empty glance. I haven’t a fucking clue as to what