Love Him to Death by Tanya Landman Read Free Book Online

steps diagonally right, twirl and bow and grin.
    Once Tessa had finished shouting instructions she left to join Bill and the rest of the guests at the chapel and we were off.
    We hadn’t gone more than a few paces when I got a stone in my golden slipper, but I didn’t dare to stop for fear of causing a mass pile-up. So my performance was more of a shuffle than a caper, but Josie was so busy smiling at all the islanders who’d turned out to watch that she either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
    We paused and posed at various prearranged beauty spots so the
Hi!
photographer could take pictures. The whole thing might have been perfectly easy if the cobbles hadn’t been so uneven and the day hadn’t been so hot. As it was, the procession seemed to be taking for ever.
    Just as we reached the first of many hairpin bends in the road, disaster struck. Graham’s face was now gleaming with sweat and my wig was itching like mad, but that turned out to be the least of our problems because suddenly Angelica appeared from behind a large rock. She scrambled inelegantly onto it and shouted at Josie over the heads of the satyrs and dryads, “You have to stop this!”
    The lyres pinged their last, the pan pipes faded like a dying breath and the dancers stopped gyrating. There was silence, apart from the sound of shuffling feet as Josie’s bridal attendants jostled each other for a better view. The
Hi!
photographer looked gleeful as he snapped the confrontation from every angle.
    Angelica looked a mess. Her hair was blowing wildly about her face, her eyes were glinting maniacally, the tendons in her neck were standing out stiffly. “You can’t marry him. Don’t you see? He wants me.
Me
!
”
    The sight of Angelica looking so sad and so mad might have moved someone else to pity, but not Josie. Jealousy clearly brought out the worst in her and she did just about the cruellest thing she could have done: she laughed, long and loud and dripping with derision. Angelica visibly shrunk under the weight of it.
    “Hello?” Josie said sarcastically, waving an arm over the assembled bridal attendants. “What do you think all this is in aid of? He’s marrying me.
Me
. Get it?”
    Angelica shook her head despairingly. “Don’t you see? Why can’t anyone see? He loves
me
. You have to leave, go away, go home.” She was begging now, her voice desperate. It was embarrassing.
    Josie shook her head but said nothing more – as if Angelica wasn’t worth wasting her breath on. She smiled at her attendants, beamed at the photographer, reached down and smoothed one of Graham’s stray curls, then announced, “Let’s get on with it. My bridegroom’s waiting.”
    The way was steep and the sun was now directly overhead. It was absolutely sweltering. I’d removed the stone from my slipper but even that wasn’t much help. We were all exhausted when we finally reached the top. The pan pipes had become screechy and out of sync with the wearily-plucked lyres. The satyrs’ tails had drooped, the dryads looked like they needed watering and the nymphs were scarlet-faced and dripping with sweat.
    Josie, meanwhile, looked as fresh and goddess-like as she had in the villa – but then all she’d had to do was sit on a horse.
    Bill’s mother Ruby was standing just outside the chapel, rifling through her handbag as if she’d lost something. As we approached, she looked up at Josie and cried, “You look lovely, dear.”
    Josie smiled. “Aren’t you going in?”
    “Yes, in a second. I can’t seem to find my tablets. Now where on earth are they? I know I put them in here somewhere. You go on, dear, Bill’s waiting for you. I’ll slip in at the back. Won’t be long.”
    Josie didn’t wait to hear more. At the mention of Bill’s name her chin went up and her eyes sparkled. When the nearest satyr helped her off Pegasus, she looked as excited as a toddler on Christmas Eve who had received a personal guarantee from Santa that she’d get everything on