Loving an Ugly Beast by Danielle Monsch Read Free Book Online

Byron’s little speech at the cabin. What was he trying to achieve by saying that to her? “Why? What would you call it?” she challenged Marie.
    “Warping your self-image to justify hiding from the world.”
    “I do not!” That stung. She had never, ever , lied to herself about her looks or what they meant for her in society. Not here, and certainly not in the years before she’d arrived in the village.
    “You won’t attempt a relationship with a guy who you know has feelings for you and who you are crazy about as well, and you use your looks as the excuse why it won’t work. What’s that if not hiding?”
    “If you’re talking about Benton—”
    “Hell yes I’m talking about Benton.” Maybe Marie’s lack of sleep was getting to her in other ways, because she was raising her voice and exhibiting a lack of control over her temper when she usually showed the opposite. “His feelings for you are real and out there for all to see. I’ve known him for years. Joseph knew him when they were soldiers, and we both told you that he is head over heels for you. But somehow you know better. You take the care he’s shown you, the dedication, the devotion, and you shunt it aside and won’t give him a chance, and the only reason you give on why he can’t love you is because of how you look. Do you know how pathetic that makes you sound?”
    In the quiet following that outburst, overloud panting breaths were audible to anyone in the room. It wasn’t until she put her hand on her chest that Nissa realized the sound was coming from her. She turned away from Marie, rubbing her chest, as if that would be able to slow her lungs or heart.
    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Marie murmured, the crush of her tears overlaying every word. Nissa shook her head but couldn’t verbalize yet, didn’t even know what she was feeling to verbalize.
    Nissa didn’t have the energy to keep her back straight or lift her head to look at her pregnant friend. “I’m going home now. I won’t be in tomorrow, but I will be back the day after. I’m not leaving, I just need time.”
    Marie’s voice was grateful. “I understand. I’ll be waiting for you.”
    “Just don’t get mad at yourself for what you said. You have the baby to consider, and I don’t want you losing more sleep due to worry.” Nissa took off her apron, leaving it over the stool she had been sitting on. “I’ll give what you said some thought. There may have been some truth mixed in with all the henpecking.”
    “Whatever you decide, I’ll always back you up.”
    “I know that. You more than proved that three years ago, and nothing you ever say to me can change that.”
     
     
    “You have Nissa twisted up in knots. Was that your goal?”
    Fifteen minutes ago, Nissa had left the tavern only halfway through her shift. For the first time since he’d started courting her, Byron did not follow her. He hadn’t heard the words, but it only took one look between the two friends to know that the explosion had devastated them.
    Marie continued, answering her own question. “No, it wasn’t. It’s not all your fault, anyway. Another dolt of a man gets equal blame.”
    He didn’t have to feign confusion for this conversation. “What are you talking about?”
    “She’s so beautiful inside,” Marie said, and he wasn’t sure if she was ignoring his request for clarification or going the long route to get there. “She was so damaged when I first met her, but I could see it shining from within, even when she was bleeding emotionally.”
    If there was a being in this world who loved Nissa even close to how much he did, it was Marie. He took a deep breath and said, “I only want to be near her and love her. I would never hurt her, not intentionally.”
    “You’re not,” Marie assured him, patting his arm. “But you are a catalyst. That’s a good thing. I’ve been feeling for a while that something needed to change. I just couldn’t – or wouldn’t