Make My Heart Beat by Liz King Read Free Book Online Page A

the hospital last night around midnight. I opened up the door to her room and just stood in the doorway watching her sleep. God! I wanted nothing more than to crawl in that bed and wrap myself around her tiny frame. She looked so small. Lynae had curled into herself so tightly she looked like a ball lying in the middle of that bed. And those beds aren’t that big, and I swear you could probably fit two more of her in there with room to spare.
    Before, when she was staying over here all the time, before I fucked everything up, that’s how she would look when she was having a nightmare about that sick motherfucker. I’m assuming they were about him. She never talked about it, but if for some reason I had gotten out of bed, or she went to bed before me, that’s how I would find her. Curled into herself, almost like she was reliving that night and trying to protect herself. I’d slowly tuck myself in behind her, pull her close to my body and she would instantly relax. Lynae would sense my presence and it would calm her. The whimpering would stop and she would sleep peacefully the rest of the night.
    As I stood there watching her for those few minutes, I heard her softly crying in her sleep. When she rolled over to face the door, I almost ran, afraid she might wake. I didn’t want to upset her further if she looked up and saw me standing there, but I could tell she was still in the clutches of her nightmare. Was her nightmare about Matt? Or was it about me? Her face was scrunched up as if she were in pain. I wanted nothing more than to be able to take her in my arms and take that pain away, but the night nurse came over and told me quite sternly that visiting hours were over and I had to leave. I didn’t sleep a damn minute when I got home.
    Wade plops down on the couch next to me, nudging my leg with his knee. “You hear me, man?”
    “Yeah. Gabbi texted me about an hour ago. Michelle and Sly were up there picking her up.” It should be me taking her home. And by home, I mean here. I want her here with me every minute of every day so I can love her and look after her. And the baby.
    “I went up there with Gabbi this morning,” Wade says cautiously.
    I’m sure my glare could burn through a brick wall right now.
    “Lynae looked a little better than she did on Monday. She sounded like she was getting some strength back when I talked to her.”
    “Seriously not helping, man,” I growl at him. How dare he talk to me about seeing my sweetness. It’s not right that he can go into her room and talk to her, while I am forced to stay away, grasping at straws.
    “I tried talking to her this morning. I tried to explain some things, but she got too upset, and I couldn’t take watching her crying again.”
    Shit! Just hearing about her crying more tears over everything is enough to rip my fucking heart out. I told her I would fuck up. I told her I wasn’t good with relationships. Why the hell couldn’t I just stay away from her? Maybe she was right to run away from me that first night at Metro. I should have let her keep her distance. Did I? No! I had to go after her. From the first moment I touched her, I knew she was different. I felt it in my bones that I needed to protect her. I didn’t ever expect she would need protecting from me.
    “Did she say anything about me?” I ask. Man, I sound like such a pussy right now.
    Wade just looks at me like he feels sorry for me. “Yeah. She did ask how you were. She was worried about Sly kicking the ever livin’ shit out of you.”
    Well, at least that’s something. It isn’t much, but I’ll take what little worry from her I can get. “I miss her, man. I miss her so much. Why the fuck did you let me go get myself wasted?”
    “Don’t pin this on me. I told you to knock it off. Hell, I shouldn’t have believed anything you said when you and Marcus came back here, but how can I doubt you? You’re family,” Wade retorts.
    He’s right. I have nobody to blame but myself.