first full week around and with no more visits from Roly to hint that meeting his son had changed his mind about Leidy, I faked my momâs signature on the deposit waiver the school had mailed along with my letter and returned with it the card saying I accepted my spot in the class of 2003. I eventually mustered the ovaries to show them the folder full of papers Rawlings had sent me with my financial aid package, using the official-looking forms to confuse them into thinking it was too late to fight me about it. Leidy didnât really care; sheâd miss the help but was relieved thereâd be one less person around to see how completely wrong sheâd been about her own plan and Roly. But my betrayalâthat is the word my parents used over and over again for what Iâd doneâgave them permission to finally abandon their marriage, and my dad took my impending fall exit to mean he could do the same, but even sooner.
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6
THE STREET IN FRONT OF OUR BUILDING buzzed all morning, the sidewalks overflowing with crowds that trampled each yardâs overgrown grass. From our apartment window, the rally below looked more like spectators camped out for a choice spot along a parade route than an actual rally. Some people had salsa or talk radio playing out of boom boxes. Some sat on coolers and handed out water and cans of soda whenever a new person they seemed to know walked up. Wisps of conversations reached our window from the street: such-and-such reporter had said something about Ariel going back by the end of the weekend, so clearly she was a communist. The people down there, on the street, all nodded their heads and said, Claro que sÃ. I leaned forward more, Leidy, Dante, and the TV behind me, my cheek touching the window screen, and looked up and over the blocks of houses and palm trees spreading far out like stripes parallel to the horizon. It was gorgeous outsideâbright white sky, not so hot you could kill someone, not so humid, almost a breezeâthe beginning of winter in Miami. I couldnât believe I had to go back to the gloomy half-lit days of upstate New York, to snow turned to dirt-slush pushed into every corner for miles, to inescapable cold everywhere you turned. Before ever seeing snow, I thought that even if I couldnât bear the cold that came with it, its novelty would carry me through at least four years, no problem. Iâd actually been eager for it to come after the surprise of fall colors wore off, after maybe half the leaves on campus ended up pressed between the pages of my textbooks. Once those were gone, everything looked stark enough that I asked Jillian one night, while she studied on her bed and I sat at my desk highlighting pretty much every sentence in my chemistry textbook, when the snow would show up and cover it all.
She pulled her headphones off and said, My brother told me that one year, they had snow here on Halloween . Three, four feet overnight. He said all the girls in slutty costumes couldnât stand to put coats on over them, and like a dozen stupid bitches ended up in the hospital due to exposure.
âWait, you have a brother? I said, and she gasped and smacked her book with both her hands, then pointed with a He-llo? to a photo of her and a guy much taller than her, their arms wrapped around each otherâs waists, her in a bikini top and shorts and him in a tuxedo. Iâd assumed he was a boyfriend she only talked to when I wasnât around, the way I did with Omar. I asked if heâd gone to Rawlings too, and she told me no, he went to another collegeâone Iâd never heard of but that was just a few hours away by bus, and so heâd come to Rawlings to visit a high school friend a few years earlier. He was already a senior, she said.
âI canât believe youâve never even seen snow in real life, she said.
I looked out our window and tried to imagine a snow-friendly sexy Halloween costume. Sexy astronaut?
Dawne Prochilo, Dingbat Publishing, Kate Tate