Man From Mundania by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online Page B

and the
    Good Magician wasn't here, she would just have to extri-
    cate herself from the foul-up that Magician Murphy's curse
    had made. Imagine: getting sent to a Murphy instead of
    Humfrey! She would have to find her way back to Xanth
    with the Heaven Cent, so that Electra could recharge it
    and they could try again, this time without the curse. But
    how could she do that?
     
    She knew the answer: Dolph had learned of a secret
    way into Xanth that bypassed the usual barrier. It went
    through the gourd. It was in Centaur Isle, or the Mundane
    equivalent. She just had to get there and go through.
     
    But how could she get through Mundania, when she
    couldn't even speak its language? For now she knew that
    the moment she left the vicinity of the local Com-Pewter,
    the gibberish would resume. She had no Mundane money,
    which she knew was necessary, because here things did
    not grow on trees. Well, she had the cent—but she cer-
    tainly wasn't going to use that for money!
     
    She would have to have help. That meant Grey—if he
    would do it. Well, she would just have to ask him.
     
    She stood, adjusting her blouse and skirt. This Mun-
    dane clothing wasn't as good as Xanth clothing; it chafed
    and wore. But it had to do. She was just lucky that Agenda
    had been about her own size!
     
    She went to the door and out and across, and knocked
    on Grey's door. In a moment he answered.
     
    "Grey, I need to ask you—" she began.
     
    "Xbju—xfsfjoup hjccfsjti bhbjo!" he exclaimed, turn-
    ing away.
     
    Oh. He must have turned off the Pewter device again.
    He would have to turn it on again before they could con-
    verse.
     
    Even as she realized that, she had a notion. "Wait!"
    she said, catching his arm. For there was a point she
    wanted to make while Pewter wasn't watching.
     
    He paused. "Xibu?"
     
    She smiled, turning him gently around to face her
    squarely. Then she leaned forward and kissed him, not
    hard.
     
    She drew back. He stood as if stunned. "Zpv'sf opu
    nbe bu nf?" he asked, amazed.
     
    "It's all right. Grey," she said, smiling. Then she in-
    dicated Pewter.
     
    Dazedly, he walked to the machine and touched the but-
    ton that turned him on. In a moment the screen came to
    life.
     
    IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS FOOLISHNESS—the screen
    printed.
     
    "Well, you aggravated me," Grey retorted. "But now
    I need to talk to Ivy."
     
    OF COURSE.
     
    Grey made as if to return to her room, but Ivy held up
    a hand in negation. "It's all right if Pewter listens," she
    said. "I'll need to talk to him in a moment anyway."
     
    NATURALLY, the screen said smugly.
     
    She faced Grey. "I believe I am in Mundania," she
    said. "I need to return to Xanth. Will you help me?"
     
    "But-"
     
    "But you don't believe in Xanth," she said. "But would
    you believe if I showed you Xanth?"
     
    "You see, I think I know how to get there. But I need
    help. If you will come with me, and talk to people when
    I can't—"
     
     
     
     
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    Man from Mundania
     
    Man from Mundania
     
    41
     
    "Oh, of course," he agreed.
     
    She faced the screen. "Com-Pewter, you knew I was
    coming, didn't you?"
    YES.
     
    "And you know where I'm from."
    YES.
    "Will you tell Grey where I'm from?"
     
    YES.
     
    "Uh, you have to tell it," Grey said. "It takes things
    literally."
     
    "Tell him," she said.
     
    PRINCESS IVY IS FROM XANTH.
     
    Grey stared. "You say that? But how can a machine
    believe in fantasy?"
     
    WHEN IT IS TRUE.
     
    "You see, we could have asked him all along," Ivy
    said. "Pewter, why am I here?"
     
    GREY NEEDS YOU MOST.
     
    "But what about Good Magician Humfrey?"
     
    I KNOW NOTHING OF HIM.
     
    So it was the curse! She hadn't been sent to Humfrey,
    but to the Mundane most in need of her company. Yet a
    mystery remained. "Pewter, why are you here?" she
    asked.
     
    TO FACILITATE YOUR ENCOUNTER.
     
    "But you don't care anything about me!" she protested.
     
    IRRELEVANT STATEMENT.
     
    So Pewter wasn't telling. She wasn't surprised.