Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel Read Free Book Online Page B

rap. How will that work? In
fact, how will your candidate react when you elect not to allow
your slave to listen to the radio or to CDs at all? Be assured, I
decide on my slave's wardrobe, hair color and style, nail color,
car choice, and use of time.

    And, this is NOT micromanagement. It's a case of the Master
wishing his/her life to be a certain way and using the slave to
support those intentions. Is your candidate clear that once
he/she enters into a Master/slave relationship 24/7, all rights to
make personal choices are forfeit? For example, if your slave
tells you that he/she is going out on errands to point A, B and C,
I expect that YOU expect that the slave will only to go to points
A, B and C. How are you going to react if your slave decides to
stop in at point D? Do you take that as a good sign of initiative,
or do you take it as an incredible exercise of free will? Do you
expect a phone call from the slave asking whether or not you will
allow him/her to add in the extra stop, or are you satisfied so long
as the slave explains why the extra stop was necessary? (My
answer, by the way, was that the extra stop was an incredible and
inexcusable exercise in the very kind of free will that the slave
no longer possesses. The slave made that stop by taking time
away from me.)
    The slave's role is to be of service to Master.
    That's it.
    That's the slave's reason for being.
    The trick, then, is to be a Master worthy of such service.
    The trick is to be a Master who offers so much - in terms of
life experiences and personal support - that the slave's service is more than justified.
    Bob Rubel
    Of course, this is what we're discussing throughout this book.

    On Ego and Insecurity in Relationships
    Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb, here. I'm going to apply
some really sensitive business wisdom to choosing a mate in an
M/s setting. I'm not sure whether I hope nobody reads this, or
whether I hope a lot of people read this. But, I will say this: when
I began looking for a slave, I specifically looked for an "A" type.
    Critical Observation: As a general rule, "A" leaders select
"A" players because they are confident in their own abilities
and are used to being surrounded by excellence. However
- again as a general rule - "B" leaders select "C" players
because they can't risk being exposed as "B" leaders rather
than as "A" leaders.
    In a business environment, this plays out as follows: It's better
to have an "A" team with a "B" plan, than a "B" team with an "A"
plan. This business idea probably was derived from an old Arab
proverb: An army of sheep lead by a lion would defeat an army
of lions led by a sheep. In a personal environment, my experience is that an insecure Dom will take a weaker, less secure
submissive as a partner in order to be able to control the person
without being "called" on his act. (Note: I'm using Dom/submissive, rather than Master/slave, because I've never seen this phenomenon in an M/s relationship.)
    I've actually seen this situation unfold in real life. A close friend
of mine was faced with having to choose to marry one of two
women. Although successful in business and investments, he
selected the weaker, less self-actualized woman because he,
himself, was insecure about relations with women. His choice
astonished his close friends at the time. The woman could never
quite get on the same page with him; he finally gave up trying
and resigned himself to the situation. (Recall my earlier story
about silk purses and sows ears.)

    On Emotions in Relationships
    Clearly a truism, there are substantial differences between
men and women raised in Western civilization when it comes
to accessing and expressing emotions. Thus, it will also be a
truism that the emotional structure of an M/s relationship in the
Western world will feel quite different, depending upon the gender structure:
    • Male Master, male slave
    • Male Master, female slave
    • Female Master,