or anyone else did wrong. Thatâs a good thing, because for a long time she was secretly blaming herself.â
âWhich was totally irrational.â
âYes, but we all think irrational thoughts when weâre devastated by loss. Very few of us have objectivity in times of great pain.â
Zach sighed. âI know.â God knows that for a while heâd blamed himself, too. Why had he not seen Jennyâs symptoms so that he could have insisted she see a doctor sooner? If only heâd done thisâ¦or that⦠He grimaced. If only . Those two words were the most useless words in the dictionary. âWhat else can I do to help Katie?â
âJust keep doing what youâre doing: loving her and reassuring her anytime she begins to show signs of her fear of losing you, too.â The counselor gave him an understanding smile. âI know itâs hard. I know you want to make every bad thing go away for Katie, but healing from a loss like this is a slow process, Mr. Prince. It doesnât happen overnight.â
âI know, but it has been two years.â Jeremy hadseemed to snap back to his old self within months of Jennyâs death. Then again, he was only four when Jenny first got sick. Heâd quickly adapted to the fact that his mother couldnât do the things sheâd always done, so her loss hadnât affected him in the same way it had affected Katie. And me .
âEach of us is different. Some of us deal with these things better than others. In your case, youâre stronger than Katieâ¦and wiser. For a girl, losing a mother is traumatic. And for a girl Katieâs ageâon the cusp of her teen yearsâitâs life-changing. But your daughter is going to be all right, I feel quite sure of that. I just wanted you to know that weâre not there yet. And I wanted to tell you again now much I like your daughter.â Her expression softened. âKatieâs a special girl. Sheâs going to be a remarkable woman someday.â
Zach suddenly found it hard to speak around the lump in his throat. âSheâsâ¦very like her mother.â
The warmth in the counselorâs eyes said she understood exactly how he was feeling. âI suspected as much. She talks about her mother with so muchâ¦love and gentleness.â
Zach managed to get a grip on his emotions, but once he stepped outside and began the twenty-block walk homeâheâd decided he could use the exercise todayâthat feeling of emptiness and loss returned with a strength he hadnât felt in months. And he knewâsadlyâthat both he and his oldest daughter, at least, still had a ways to go before theyâd be completely whole again.
Â
âSo how was your first day at work?â
Georgie made a face. âIt was fine.â
âGeorgie, I can tell just by the tone of your voice that it wasnât fine,â Joanna said.
So Georgie, who hadnât planned to say a word until Joanna had called and begun pumping her, spilled the whole storyâhow Zach Prince had showed up at the office so late, how heâd skipped out again without any explanation about where he might be going, how she felt even more uneasy about him now than sheâd felt beforeâand then she even found herself telling Joanna how good-looking he was.
âReally?â Joanna said. âHe actually looks like Patrick Dempsey? Gee, he canât be that hard to work with, then. At least youâve got something great to look at! I mean, he didnât act obnoxious or anything, did he?â
âNo.â
âWell, then? How bad can it be? Just sit back and enjoy the scenery for a while.â
Joannaâs comments caused Georgie to remember what sheâd said to her sisters a while back when theyâd started bugging her about getting married. âWhat?â Bobbie had said. âYouâre going to go without sex for the rest of your