Memoirs of a Timelord by Ralph Rotten Read Free Book Online

had learned was wrong.  But then again, humans were essentially cavemen compared to the DuNai.  Homo Sapiens were only ten thousand years out of a loincloth. Most Dunai lived three times that long.
            "What'd you mean that I created a wake as soon as I got here?" I tried to focus.
           "Hmmmph." He gave a pleased grunt before answering.  "True prophets cause a wake when they enter a galaxy, like a disturbance in the Force. Y'know?  See, anytime you approach a living being, it'll tend to react one way or another to you.  The Guf is alive, and it will react to those of us who can converse with it.  The reason you felt like the voices were different since you died is because they are.  Kid, I don't know if the old man told you or not, but not only are you not in Kansas anymore, you're not even in the same galaxy.  For the last few years you've been chatting with a strange Guf."
           "...and this place...?" I asked, gesturing to the cave around me.
           "Is another galaxy entirely.  Different Guf than the Boss' place" He finished my sentence.
           I took that in for a few moments before asking my next question.
           "Shanti made it sound like I had a big wake, am I flawed or something?  Does it mean I have a big ass?" I was always waiting for the third shoe to drop.
           "Nothing wrong with your wake, it's just immense.  Even as a plebe your chi is off the charts, girl.  I've met trained Lords who didn't have the kinda abilities you have right outta the box." Bara nodded a reassurance.  "Did you know the Boss was in the Sombrero galaxy when you were born.  He felt your wake clear out there.  Granted, the old guy is waaaaaay more sensitive than I am, but still, the Sombrero galaxy?  That's hell and gone from Earth.  Kiddo, I've met 'em all, from Jesus to Mohammed, and none of 'em had the amperage that you do."
           I sat back, pleased to learn that not only was I not crazy, but I was powerfully sane...or something like that.  After a lifetime of hiding my shameful secret, it turns out to be my only ticket home from the grave.  Well, whooda thunk?
           "So you're saying that Jesus wasn't really..." I trailed off for the right words, "the son of God?"
           "Of course he was, we're all sons and daughters and saughters of God." He shrugged to accent what he was saying.
           "Saughters?" I asked quickly.
           "Non-genderal species have children too.   Looksee, Jesus and Muhammad and Moses and all those guys you learned about in Sunday school were just like you, they were prophets of the Guf, they had the voices in their head too.  But unlike you, they could only hear the Guf.  You can talk to it, converse with it, even command it to some degree, and that makes you the True Prophet.  Kid, you're not just one in a million, you're one in an octillion.  Even among the DuNai, abilities like ours are extremely rare."
           Didra held out her hand over my empty glass.  Immediately more milk poured out of her fingertip until my cup nearly ranneth over.  I had so many questions to ask that they were running into each other and causing a traffic jam in my brain.
           "So I'm gonna be God's nanny?" Something didn't make sense about the whole thing.
           "God?  Hell no." He snorted.  "A god, yes.  But not the God.  More people have landed on your moon than have seen the face of God.  The Boss is one of 'em.  All we know is that the creator made this multiverse, and planted these galaxies like eggs in a clutch, but no one has seen the guy for eons.  Some DuNai scholars believe he's dead, they say he spent his entire essence creating the universe, and when he was done there just wasn't nothin' left of him."  
           "You believe that Nietzsche crap?" I asked him, feeling a little defensive for the Christian God I had grown up believing in.
           "Nah, he's still out there, waiting for his children to