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    thing you can do to make him love you any more today; and there’s not one thing you can do to make him
    love you any less either. He just loves you.
    “It is your security in that love that will change you, not your struggle to try and earn it.”
    My eyes began to moisten with tears. He had unlocked something I’d never considered before.
    “So all my efforts are in vain?”
    “If they are directed at trying to get him to love you more, yes they are. If you never counseled another person
    or taught another class, Jake, he would love you no less.”
    What? I was speechless. I wanted to believe him, but he had just challenged everything I had ever worked
    for. While it would explain why so many of my efforts had fallen short, I had no idea how to embrace what
    he just said. Was I really trying to earn what he had already given?
    After a few moments, John pushed away from the wall and started walking further down the hallway and I
    took up my position alongside him.
    “You know that morning you got the attendance pin? If that pastor would have really loved you, do you know
    what he would have said? ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we want to introduce a young man who has just
    completed a two-year span of never missing a Sunday school class. We want to pray for him because that
    means his family’s priorities are so askew that for the last two years they never took a vacation together. It
    means he probably came here when he was sick and should have been home resting. It means that winning
    a gold-plated trinket like this one and your approval is more important to him than being your brother. And
    not one day of his attendance will draw him any closer to God.’”
    “That might have been a little rude,” I countered.
    “And a set-up, certainly, Jake. But if he had, perhaps you wouldn’t pursue the approval which does far more
    to distract you from God than it does to open you up to him.”
    “What you’re saying, then, is that using approval to reward Sherri is not only hurtful to Benji, but harmful to
    Sherri too?”
    He punched the air with his index finger as if to tap an imaginary button. “Bingo! Do you know that more
    than 90% of children who grow up in Sunday school leave the congregation when they leave their parents’
    home?”
    So You Don’t Want to Go To Church Anymore
    Page 32
    “I have heard that. We blame that on the public schools that disaffect children from their faith.”
    John raised his eyes incredulously. “Really? That’s convenient.”
    “Well, we’re doing our part,” I said defensively.
    “In more ways than you’ve seen so far.”
    “So you’re saying everything I learned bad about God I learned in Sunday school.” I could hear the mockery
    and frustration in my own voice.
    “Well, not quite. I didn’t say it was all bad.”
    “How could it be? We teach the kids about God and the Bible, and how to be good Christians.” My voice
    faded out as it dawned on me that learning about God and what it means to be a good Christian was not the
    same as learning to walk with him.
    “What I want you to see is that laced through the wonderful things you have here is a system of religious
    obligation that distorts it all. Until you see that, you’ll never know what it means to walk with Father.”
    “Why’s that?”
    “He’s done too much to free you from it, to reward it. Certainly everything else in your life might be based
    on performance, but not relationship with him. It’s not based on what we do, but on what he’s done.”
    “So I’ve been trying too hard, is that what you’re saying? Is that why my efforts aren’t working? Don’t we
    have to do our part?” I looked back at John.
    “Not exactly,” said John with a slight chuckle under his breath. “But you are getting close. It’s that you’re
    trying to earn a relationship you’ll never earn. Men and women might give you acclaim for memorizing
    Scriptures or attending services, but those are never going to be