Mommy Tracked by Whitney Gaskell Read Free Book Online

upstairs in her crib and tried to imagine leaving her every morning at a day-care center. Just the thought made her stomach roil.
    “You’re right, I don’t think I could stand handing my baby over to a stranger like that,” she said.
    The silence went on for a full three beats before Grace realized what she’d just said. She slapped her hand against her forehead.
    “Oh, shit, Anna, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like such a judgmental bitch.”
    “That’s okay,” Anna said, although Grace could hear how hurt her friend sounded, and it made her want to beat herself to death with the telephone.
    “Anna, really and truly—I envy you. I wish I had something outside the house and kids that was just mine.”
    “Well, you know what I think.”
    “Yeah, I know.” In her premom life, as distant as it seemed, Grace had worked as an interior designer. Well, she’d worked for an interior designer, anyway, although she had handled a few smaller projects on her own. As much as she loved design work, she’d mostly hated the job. Her boss had been such a demanding diva—she actually snapped her fingers at Grace when she wanted something handed to her—that Grace hadn’t been at all sorry to quit when Molly was born. Occasionally, Grace wondered aloud if she’d done the right thing giving up her career, and Anna had told her time and time again that she could pick up some part-time clients if she wanted.
    But the truth was, Grace didn’t think it was as easy as all that. She hadn’t exactly been a huge success in her chosen field. In fact, being a mom was the only thing she knew she was good at. She was the fun mom, the one who played Barbies and dress-up and who baked batches of chocolate chip cookies with her kids and was there to apply Dora the Explorer Band-Aids to their boo-boos. She kept the art-project cupboard stocked with glitter and feathers and washable paints, regularly took her kids on outings to the zoo and the children’s museum, and custom-made all of their Halloween costumes (every year, Grace got desperate last-minute calls from other moms, begging to borrow the Blue’s Clues costume she’d sewn with fake blue fur or the green tulle fairy-princess outfit complete with gossamer wings).
    “So Chloe seemed nice,” Grace said instead, changing the subject. “I think I’ll invite her to our pool party.”
    “Yeah, she’s great. Very shy, but sweet. She and her husband just moved into the neighborhood a few months ago. I think they came here from Texas.”
    “When is she due?”
    “I think in about a month. She looks ready to pop.”
    “I thought she looked adorable,” Grace said.
    “Yeah. I never looked that cute when I was pregnant. I just swelled everywhere,” Anna said.
    “Tell me about it. Only in my case, the swelling never went away. I still look like one of those dancing hippos from Fantasia . You know, the ones with the tutus?” Grace laughed— this is what the fat friend is supposed to do , she rationalized, make funny, self-deprecating jokes —but Anna didn’t join her.
    “Don’t do that,” Anna protested. “Don’t run yourself down.”
    “I was just kidding,” Grace said quickly.
    “Hey, I have to go. I just pulled up to my mom’s house,” Anna said.
    “Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
    “Bye.”
    Grace clicked the phone off and continued to stare out the back window into the darkness for a few minutes, mentally going over the day’s events. Her bit introducing Melinda had gone all right—at least, she hadn’t spoken too fast or stumbled over her words. She just wished she’d had more time to get ready. She’d spent the afternoon helping Molly learn about traditional Japanese tea parties for the next Foreign Friends Day at school. Then Hannah had insisted on getting her finger paints out, which had been fun but messy. And Natalie needed to be fed, so Grace had to give up trying to wipe the remaining smears of paint off Hannah’s hands and turn