Mr Gum and the Power Crystals by Andy Stanton Read Free Book Online Page B

Twinklecakes’ time. Only it wasn’t a loaf of bread at all, it was a different kind of baked good altogether. In fact –
    â€˜It’s a gingerbread man,’ gasped Old Granny.
    â€˜With electric muscles!’ cried Polly.
    â€˜Could it be –’ wondered Mrs Lovely.
    â€˜Woof?’ said Jake.
    â€˜THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE!’ shouted Friday. ‘It’s Captain Excellent!’
    â€˜Otherwise known as Alan Taylor!’ laughed Polly in delight. ‘He’s been baked again! Alan Taylor! Alan Taylor, you’re back at Number 1 on the Not Bein’ Dead Charts an’ that’s a official Polly fact! Spirit of the Rainbow, how did you knows?’
    But the Spirit of the Rainbow had gone and where he had stood there were only a couple of fruit chews glistening sweetly among the dewdrops.
    â€˜Never mind him now!’ laughed Alan Taylor, jumping up to kiss Polly on the nose. ‘It IS me!What an adventure, Polly! What strange things I saw while I was dead! They only added to my knowledge of the natural world, and perhaps one day I will teach you all about them.’

    And who knows? Perhaps one day he will. But until then, there will be plenty more tales to tell about Polly and her friends. You see, stories are like rivers – they keep on flowing and they sometimes have fishin them. And just as sure as the river flows, there will always be another adventure rolling around the bend. For as Old Granny said that fine summer’s morn, as everyone sat laughing in the sunshine,
    The past has a way of repeating itself.
    The past has a way of repeating itself.
    The past has a way of repeating itself.
    But the future? Well, now, that’s another story.
    THE END

    Â 

    THE BALLAD OF BARRY FUNGUS

Words and music: Friday O’Leary
    Barry was a fine young man
When he went off to war
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
And a rifle sitting on his knee
And a flask filled with his grandma’s tea
Crazy Barry Fungus
    He shot one hundred soldiers down
His very first day at war
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
Bang-bang! He shot ’em, one two three!
‘The soldier’s life is the life for me!’
Said Crazy Barry Fungus
    The general took him to one side
And punched him in the neck
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
The general said, ‘What’s wrong with thee?
You’re meant to shoot the enemy!
You stupid dangerous weirdo.’
    They sent him home that very day
In absolute disgrace
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
Ignored by friends and family
They were too ashamed to want to see
Crazy Barry Fungus
    He went to live by the railway tracks
In a gilded silver cage
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
‘A man I don’t deserve to be,
I’ll be a chaffinch, tweety-twee!’
Chirped Crazy Barry Fungus
    And ever since that day, my friends
A chaffinch he has been
With a hi-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
He flaps in his cage and begs for seed
He’d like to leave but he’s lost the key
Crazy Barry Fungus
    So if you chance to see him
Upon a rainy night
With a high-ho-diddle and a hi-ho-dee!
Please be kind, give gen’rously
For one day you might be like he –
Living in a birdcage
    (Four hour long harmonica solo)
    Â 
    FIN

About the author
    Andy Stanton
lives in North London. He studied English at Oxford but they kicked him out. He has been a film script reader, a cartoonist, an NHS lackey and lots of other things. He has many interests, but best of all he likes cartoons, books and music (even jazz). One day he’d like to live in New York or Berlin or one of those places because he’s got fantasies of bohemia. His favourite expression is ‘Don’t look at me like that, fish!’ and his favourite word is ‘whippersnapper’. This is his fourth book.
About the illustrator
    David Tazzyman
lives in South London with his girlfriend, Melanie, and their son, Stanley. He grew up in Leicester, studied