My Misery Muse by Brei Betzold Read Free Book Online Page A

this would mean a lot to me.”
     
    “Fine,” I said grudgingly.
     
    “Thank you,” with that he reached over and took my hand slowly rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.  That small touch made my breath catch; this man could get to me like no one else.
     
    Our coffee came then, I pulled my hand from his so I could fix my coffee and also get a little space between us.  I still didn’t know what I wanted with Seth, was I willing to put my heart on the line again for this man?  Hell did he even want more than his son from me, was I being delusional that the spark between was more than one sided?
     
    “Hey, where did you go? he asked.
     
    I shook myself out of my morose thoughts. “Sorry, guess I drifted there for a minute. So how long are you in town?”
     
    He blew out his breath, “I’m not really sure actually, we started on the new album in LA but it just wasn’t working, we thought a change of scenery would help. We go back in the studio on Monday,” he said. “Not really sure how long we’ll stay, all depends on how long it takes to get the album done.  We’re scheduling some shows around the area while were here, playing some of the old haunts we used to.  Xavier’s been in a rut with his lyrics, and Sam and I haven’t been much better with coming up with riffs and stuff.”
     
    That was a first for Seth, as far as I knew, when we lived together he was always working on new bass lines, as well as writing his own stuff, half the first album was written by Seth.
     
    “I’m sorry you guys are having such a tough time,” I said. “If you need any help let me know, I still mess around writing sometimes, also the guys still play every Monday and Wednesday nights at Drake’s.”
     
    “Really, they still play?”
     
    “Yep, they don’t do shows or anything anymore, they just like to get together and mess around.”
     
    Then our food came, and didn’t know what else to say, so I tucked into my food, tasting the delicious cream sauce over perfectly cooked crepes.
     
    “So guess we should get some kind of visitation schedule put together, huh?” Seth said.
     
    That took me back a second; I still didn’t know what to think about him coming back into our lives, or how to deal with it.
     
    “Yea, I guess that would be a good idea. I still want to kinda limit it for now, until Jaks is more comfortable with you, and you have more time getting used to taking care of a two year old. By the way how did it go tonight?” I asked but Drake had already told me what he had walked into.
     
    “We did ok, he never stops though. I was constantly running after him, keeping him out of things, I don’t know how you’ve done it all this time by yourself.”
     
    “I didn’t do it by myself; I’ve been lucky and had a lot of help.”
     
    “Yea, I guess you have,” he said looking sad, I knew he was thinking about how he wasn’t one of the ones here helping, watching Jaks grow.
     
    I reached into my bag and pulled out my journal. I detailed my days with Jaks in it, along with some of my favorite pictures; I thought Seth might like to look at it.
     
    “Here, it’s the journal I told you about last night.”
     
    He took it with a smile, “Thanks, Devi.”
     
    “Seth I want you in his life, I want him to have his father, but I don’t know how we are going to make it work, I mean you’re always on tour.  When you’re not on tour you’re working in the studio. I’m just trying to figure out how we could possibly make this work.”
     
    “I don’t know yet either, Devi, but I, we will make it work.”
     
    We sat in silence finishing off dinner, I was still trying to figure out how to make it possibly work, when Mags’s advice came back to me. I needed to tell him about my trip to LA, about me going to his apartment, I hadn’t told anyone about that, except her.  For all I knew, Chloe had already told him, and he was just letting me keep my pride, but I still needed to tell him, for