Nathaniel by John Saul Read Free Book Online Page B

alone?” Then she’d held out her arms, and Janet, her throat constricting with feeling, had leaned down, clumsily embracing this fragile woman she hardly knew.
    As she sat in the darkness that night, trying to concentrate on the stars, Janet felt the props of her life slipping away from her, felt the rock of trust she’d always had in Mark dissolving into sand. Already, it was slipping through her fingers, leaving her with nothing to cling to.
    By the time the horizon edged silvery-gray with dawn and she drifted into an uneasy sleep, Janet’s grief over the death of her husband had begun to change into something else. An odd fear had begun to pervade her, a fear of what else she might discover about Mark, what other secrets might have lain hidden from her during all the years of her marriage.
    When she awoke several hours later, she could feel a difference in herself. It was as if uncertainty had gathered around her, crippling her. She lay still for a long time, unable to make up her mind to get up, unsure whether she could face the day.
    She closed her eyes for a few moments, and suddenly she saw an image of Mark’s face, but his features were slightly blurred, and there was something in his eyes—a secretiveness—that she’d never seen before. And then the image changed, hardened and sharpened into the visage of Amos.
    His eyes were clear, his features strong. And he was smiling at her, offering her the strength she could no longer get from Mark or find within herself.
    She rose from her bed and went to the window. Below her, in the barnyard, she watched Michael feeding the chickens. A moment later Amos emerged from the barn, and as if feeling her gaze, looked up; she waved to him; he waved back to her.
    And then the nausea hit her. Turning away from the window, she hurried to the bathroom, threw up in the toilet, and waited for the sickness to pass.
    What’s going to happen to us?
she wondered a few minutes later as she began dressing.
What’s going to happen to us now?
    Ryan Shields pedaled furiously through the village, then east on the highway toward his grandparents’ farm. He didn’t slow down until he’d made the turn into the driveway, but by the time he got to the front yard, he was coasting, his feet dragging in the dust as makeshift brakes. He came to a dead stop, expertly dropped the kickstand with one toe, then balanced on the leaning bike, his arms crossed, only his slouching posture preventing the bike from tipping over. It was a technique he’d learned only a month ago, and it had quickly become his favorite pose. He cocked his head, squinting in the brightness of the sun, peering at the house. “Hey! Anybody home?”
    A moment later the front door opened, and Michael came out on the porch. “Hi.”
    “Hi. Whatcha doin’?”
    “Nothing. Everybody’s gone into town to Dr. Potter’s.”
    Ryan swung his leg over the handlebar, and stepped off the bike, which promptly fell over into the dust of the driveway. “Shit.” He picked up the bike, carefully balanced it on the kickstand, then mounted the steps to the porch. “Is your mom still sick?”
    Michael shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess not. Anyway, it didn’t seem like it this morning, and she was okay last night.” Then he frowned. “How come you’re not in school?”
    “School’s out.”
    “At home, we don’t get out for another three weeks.”
    “We always get out early here. Most of the kids have to help their dads with planting. Can I come in?”
    Michael’s expression became guarded. “There’s nobody home.”
    “You’re home.”
    “But I’m not supposed to let anybody in the house when I’m by myself.”
    Ryan stared at him in disbelief. “Why not?”
    “ ’Cause you never know who might come to the door. There’s all kinds of crazies in the city. What can you do?”
    “Well, I’m not crazy, and this is my grandparents’ house, and I can come in if I want to.” Then, seeing Michael suddenly tense, he