Naw Much of a Talker by Pedro Lenz Read Free Book Online

summit, Goalie. Whit like wis it in jail? Ah dont know anyone else who’s been.
    Is that how ye came?
    Naw, naw at aw. Ah tellt ye, didnt ah, someone said it wis yir birthday. Ahm jist intristit, that’s aw.
    It’s nowt special. Durin the day ye work ootside in the fields an’ in the evenin ye wait fur night tae faw. Some folk ur total swines an’ some ur awright. First, ye hiv tae
look an’ see which is which. Then ye stick tae the wans that ur awright. That way, it’s awright. D’ye want some music oan?
    Naw, jist leave the radio on. Ah feel fine.
    Ah dont.
    How naw?
    Dont know masel. It’s strange. Two ae us at ma place, oan a Sunday eftirnoon. An’ cake an’ tea. Hard tae say how. It’s makin me a bit nervous but.
    Carry oan tellin me. How’d ye tae go tae jail anyhow?
    Ah wis convicted.
    Ah know that. They musta tellt ye why they convicted ye but.
    Fur hivin impure thoughts.
    God, Goalie, yir a strange yin.
    Ah know, ah know.
    Then, eftir a pause: Tell me, Regi, is Buddy naw as strange as me?
    Buddy’s diffrint. Buddy his baith feet on the groon. Strange things urnae always happenin tae him. Ah didnae come here but tae talk aboot Buddy.
    How then? How ur ye here? ah thought tae masel an’ ah pit ma arm roon her an’ said ah wis pleased she’d come anyhoo an’ ahd the feelin things wur a bit brighter when she
wis near me.
    It didnae bother her, that bit wi the arm. She shuffled up closer, mair like, pit her heid oan ma shoulder an’ didnae say any mair. It wis strange takin Regula in ma arms while her man wis
at the firin range, operatin the remote control ae wan ae they childish model planes. Wis strange, aye. But nice but. Very nice.

7
    Ah get ma kick fae the present. Maist folk ah know aye focus on the future, sorta, eether their ain, or the prospects ae their spoilt-as-fuck weans. The word
future
covers a multitude ae sins but, specially if ye dont know whit’s in store.
    Ahm naw hooked on the future. Naw me. Ah dont focus on the future like that. At maist, ah wonder wis that it awready wi Regula. Haud her a bit, listen a bit, chat a bit, a wee bit ae
trembly-knees sydrome. An’ tae go wi aw that: a piece o cake an’ national radio. Course, that his its attractions an’ aw, tae begin wi, at least. Problem is: nae cunt knows how
long the beginnin lasts fur. An’ whether it even
is
a beginnin.
    Course, ah kid say tae her: naw, that’s naw on, she his tae decide, tell me whit she wants. She his tae choose, him or me, eether we dae it right or it’s jist a bit ae fun etc etc
blah-blah. Whit’s the point but?
    Whit’ll ah dae if eftir a while she gi’es it: she’s decided in favour ae me. Or worse still, gi’es it: mibbe it’s better if she nivver sees me again? The smarter
thing tae dae, nae doot, is tae dae fuck-aw an’ wait an’ see jist. Ye cannae speed these things up. Itherwise, ivry cunt wid.
    Uli’s noo in hospital. Ah tellt him mair than wance tae see a doctor. When he finally went, Dr Wydenmeyer sent him straight tae hospital. Hepatitis, he’s got. Ither stuff as well.
An’ above aw, a high temperature.
    Didnt ah tell him he’d a temperature? Didnt ah tell him he his the jaundice? Marta thought it wis better naw tae go oan aboot it an’ tae let him get some shut-eye.
    Admit it, Marta! Ah knew, ah tellt Uli: yiv got the jaundice, man. Ye shid dae summit aboot it, man. Didnt ah say so? Didnt ah say he shid caw a doctor?
    Marta waves tae say naw tae shout like that an’ leaves the room. Pointless anyhow, jist sittin there while the man himsel’s oot fur the coont.
    In the hospital cafeteria, they’ve guid doughnuts. They wans wi icin sugar, insteid ae normal sugar. Yir fingers dont get as sticky. An’ they taste jist as sweet as
the ither yins. If ah kid, that’s the only doughnuts ahd eat. Jist the hospital yins.
    Marta asks his there been any developments wi Regula.
    Ah got a bit nervous.
    How? Did some cunt say summit?
    Naw, naebody did. Ye said yersel but ye