No Worries by Bill Condon Read Free Book Online Page B

my day. It was her problem, not mine.
    I lay on my bed, a smile on my face. When I closed my eyes and concentrated, Emma’s voice came back, then I could see her. I could touch her. And if I concentrated even harder she could touch me. Curled up under the blankets, we rewrote the Kama Sutra.
    I drifted, blissed out. Bed was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. If we ever made love for real, I’d want it to be like this. So peaceful and warm.
    Then I heard a noise. I listened closely and recognised it. Mum was crying.
    It wasn’t too unusual. The moans and groans, Dad called it. It was always a big deal at the time — end-of-the-world stuff for her. But it usually blew over fast.
    â€˜Hey, Mum. You all right?’
    The crying continued.
    â€˜Mum? Did you hear me?’
    Nothing. What a pain. I got out of bed, stood in the doorway to check it out, yawning, feeling hungry and annoyed. Mum was still at the sink. The tap was on hard. She had the plug in and water lapped over the top of the sink and onto the floor. She took no notice. Arms straight down beside her, mouth wide, she rocked back and forth as she bawled.
    â€˜Hey, Mum.’ I walked over, turned off the tap and took the plug out. ‘What’s goin’ on? Didn’t you see the water?’
    I gave her a shake.
    â€˜Mum. Hey!’
    She was startled; gasped in shock.
    â€˜What’s the matter, Mum?’
    It took her ages to snap out of it. She looked bewildered as she noticed the water at her feet.
    â€˜Brian …’
    Her hands trembled, so I held them. It had been a long time since I’d had any physical contact with her. Hugs and hand-holding were for little kids. Now it was almost as if she was the little kid.
    â€˜I feel so terrible.’
    â€˜You want me to get a doctor?’
    â€˜You don’t understand. I feel hopeless. So empty.’
    I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to yell at her, Get a life, Mum. Whatever the problem is, get over it. When she got like this I wondered if I loved her any more. If I had ever really loved her. Because now I sure didn’t feel loving. There wasn’t much going on between us except her giving orders and me giving attitude. But seeing her so pathetic and helpless did make me feel something. Pity. I knew that was a long way from love, but it was the best I could do.
    â€˜I’ll make us a cup of tea if you like. Tea and a biscuit. Sound good?’
    She tried to force a smile, but it only made her look sadder.
    â€˜You want to talk about it?’ I said, even though I dreaded talking to her. She could be so morbid and depressing when she was like this. And no matter what I said to cheer her up, she’d put a negative spin on it. I decided to give her ten minutes.
    She took over making the tea.
    â€˜I told you about the psychiatrist, didn’t I? I saw her today.’
    â€˜Yeah — meant to ask you how that went.’
    She switched off the Sad button and pressed down hard on Angry.
    â€˜A waste of time. Absolute waste of bloody time! I told her she was a stupid bitch.’
    Nothing like getting straight to the point.
    â€˜What’d you do that for?’
    I tried to play it down, but her voice rose anyway.
    â€˜Because she didn’t listen to a single word I said! She kept looking at the clock and fiddling with a pen, twirling it around, looking at the clock. There was not the slightest little shred of interest in what I was saying or how I felt!’
    She was in my face as if I was the psychiatrist. The target. I wanted to yell right back at her, tell her to shut up. But I only nodded.
    â€˜Oh, but she wanted her ninety dollars, didn’t she? Quick with her hand out for her precious money.’
    Ten minutes was looking like an eternity. I took out some biscuits and tipped them onto a plate.
    â€˜So what did you tell her?’
    Mum’s eyes fixed on her reflection in the kettle. Distorted and