Of Love & Regret by S. H. Kolee Read Free Book Online

shook my head.
“No, he’s busy this weekend. He has a lot of writing to get done.”
    Her eyebrows rose
disbelievingly, but she didn’t comment on it. I knew Logan wasn’t the only one who
had doubts about the novel Adam was supposedly working on.
    “So, obviously you
were with Logan.”
    I frowned. “Why is
that obvious?”
    Emily laughed.
“Because you spend more time with him than you do with your actual boyfriend.”
    Her statement
reinforced my realization last night that I was becoming too dependent on Logan.
I didn’t think it was fair to either of us.
    “Well, you’re
right,” I replied with a sigh. “I hung out with Logan, but I’m starting to think
our friendship isn’t healthy.”
    “Your friendship
isn’t healthy because you both really just want to boff each other.”
    “That’s not true!”
I protested vehemently. “Things between us are strictly platonic.”
    “Uh-huh,” Emily
replied, not looking convinced. “What happened last night that makes you think
your friendship isn’t healthy?”
    I waited to answer,
because the waitress chose that moment to arrive with plates of the
restaurant’s famous cinnamon rolls that came with every order. Emily started in
on hers enthusiastically, but I just stared at mine, my appetite vanishing as I
tried to find the words to explain what exactly had happened last night. I
wasn’t really even sure of it myself.
    “It was just
weird,” I finally said. “Logan and I never fight, but yesterday we couldn’t
stop bickering. It was like we kept taking what the other person said in the
wrong way. I think the reason why I drank so much was because I was feeling uncomfortable
and nervous.”
    “Maybe it’s all
the sexual tension that’s built up between you two,” she said in between bites
of her cinnamon roll. “Just screw each other’s brains out and get it over
with.”
    I laughed, but the
sound was hollow. “You think everything is solved by sex.”
    Emily frowned
exaggeratedly. “Isn’t it?”
    I sighed as I
picked up my fork, finally taking a bite of a cinnamon roll. It was warm and
gooey with plenty of icing, but it tasted like sand in my mouth.
    Emily stopped
eating as she studied me. She seemed to realize that I was seriously bothered
by last night. “What’s really wrong?” she asked, no longer joking. “Did Logan
try something?”
    “No, it was
nothing like that. It was just — ” I
paused as I searched for the right words. “I was just aware of him in a
different way yesterday. It’s not that I think of him as anything more than a
friend, but things just felt different between us. Like there was something
unspoken that neither of us were willing to address.” I frowned as I thought
about my statement. “At least, I wasn’t.”
    “What was it that
was unspoken between you two?” she asked.
    “I don’t know.
That’s the problem. Whatever it was, it made me super sensitive and defensive
about everything he said. The thing is, I wasn’t the only one who was acting
differently. He insulted Adam, something he never does—at least, not so obviously.
And it seemed like he was upset with me, but I’m not sure why.”
    “He just probably
thinks Adam isn’t good enough for you,” Emily contended. “And he’s right.”
    I waved aside her
comment. “I really don’t want to get into the merits of my relationship with
Adam right now. Besides, his comments about Adam were only a small part of the
issue last night. It was more than that. It was like he wasn’t filtering his
thoughts and was just saying whatever was on his mind.”
    “Is that a bad
thing? I don’t understand what the problem is.”
    I was frustrated
because I wasn’t sure what the problem was either. “You weren’t wrong when you
said I spend more time with him than I do with Adam. That’s a problem. I’m
beginning to realize that our friendship may be crossing some lines. Not any
romantic sort of lines, but emotionally. I think we’re too dependent