Olga by Olga Kotelko Read Free Book Online

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    Truthfully, I was happily married for only the first ten days after the wedding. The image of happily ever after faded quickly when I realized that John had no intention of changing his role from bachelor to husband. Instead, he enjoyed the benefits of cooked meals and a warm bed without contributing to his family’s happiness. He would not tolerate any disruption of his routine. He avoided discussions and closed down emotionally. A few days into our marriage, I asked him why he was always so late coming home for dinner. He told me that, as an insurance salesman, his business hours were mainly after supper when the clients would be home from work. He added that if he thought I was sitting at home stewing over his being late, then he would make a point not to hurry. This harsh response gave my blood a chill; this was a side of him I had never seen, and I felt sick. Quickly and dramatically, his lack of interest in his little family made me realize I was on my own, but rather than wallow in pity, I chose to accept his terms and stay out of his way.
    He was the master of the house, and controller of the finances. Money was scarce, so I was continually asking for grocery money. He preferred to spend his money socializing with his male friends, so I started a garden and grew vegetables to avoid going hungry and to be more self-sufficient. John wanted a wife, but not the responsibilities that come with marriage, so he and I had no emotional connection with each other. He could be gone from home for as long as a month, and when he returned, Nadine wouldn’t recognize him. This was sad, and added to my loneliness. In those days, you didn’t consider divorce, especially if you were raised Catholic. I was determined to withstand the challenges, while praying that the situation would improve. Unfortunately, things got worse.
    A few years into the marriage, John came home late while I was sleeping. The memory is a bit blurred, but I remember that he woke me up, accusing me of being unfaithful to him. This was not a new accusation, but the incident stood out in my mind because it was the first time he had accused me while holding a butcher knife to my throat. I decided to gather enough strength and courage to leave him. I went to a lawyer and explained that I was worried John might hurt me, and that Nadine could be in danger as well. The lawyer knew John’s character and told me to ‘Get the hell out!’ At first, I was stumped as to how I could leave without John knowing my plan, but fate intervened in an unfortunate way: his mother had died in her farmyard while feeding the chickens, and we were to go to the funeral. My parents knew of my plan to leave him, and they met us there. I left with them that night, and Nadine and I began a new life, but not for long.
    My parents had retired but still lived on the farm. Every morning, Dad would hitch up a team to drive Nadine two miles to school and pick her up in the afternoon. I felt bad watching my parents as they tried to look after us, so I decided to move again. We went to Saskatoon to stay at my Uncle Jim’s. This time, Nadine’s school was just a short distance away, and we enjoyed the open air skating rink a block from home. We were happy and content without the threat of an angry husband breaking up our peace.
    Soon after, I accepted a teaching position in a rural area where Nadine could be one of my pupils. She was six years old and had become my little companion. We were set to leave and had our few boxes packed up. At the train station of our destination, we loaded our few possessions onto a horse-drawn sleigh and rode from the station to the school, excited to be starting a new adventure. When we arrived at the house where we would live, John was waiting for us on the front porch.
    My excitement turned to shock then resignation. I understood that my life had taken another wrong turn, and I would have to go with him. Our boots had barely touched the snow, and I