(Once) Again by Theresa Paolo Read Free Book Online

the top of her head. Warmth ran through my lips into my entire body. So many nights I had held her like this. So many nights she’d needed me to comfort her, to tell her everything would be okay. I could tell she still did. But this time I needed her too. More than she would ever know.
    She glanced up at me, and I was lost in the blue depths of her eyes. Even with tears staining her cheeks, she’d never looked more beautiful.
    I was taking a chance, but I had to. The reason I lost her all came down to the fact that I didn’t take a chance. I played it safe, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I told myself if I ever had a shot with Kat again I would be all in. Nothing would stop me. It was my opportunity. The one I thought about so many nights, when girl after girl sent me home disappointed with her inability to make me feel a tinge of what I felt with Kat.
    I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Her body went stiff, but she didn’t hit me, so I took it as a good sign. At first I didn’t move, afraid if I did, she would jump away. But greed took over, and I moved my lips, urging her to part her own, swiping my tongue across the line that kept me from what I desperately wanted.
    She melted into my embrace, parting her lips, sliding her tongue into my mouth, and ruining any other girl for me. Actually, she already had. I hadn’t realized it until she showed up on my doorstep, but there was a reason I’d never wanted a relationship with any of the girls I’d dated. The reason being that kissing them was about as exciting as watching a snail race. It was simple.
    They weren’t Kat.
    Her hands ran through my hair, and I needed her in the worst way. I moved, wanting her against the car. I didn’t care that my crutches were getting in the way. All my mind could focus on was Kat.
    I leaned her back into the driver’s side door and pressed my body against hers. Her body went rigid, so I ran my fingers along her cheekbone to calm her nerves. She sucked in a sharp breath and then lifted her lips to mine.
    A loud bang came from behind us. I tore my mouth from Kat’s and dove to the ground. My heart raced. I desperately tried to get air to my lungs, but each breath was ragged and as much as I gasped, I couldn’t breathe.
    I closed my eyes and like a projector, visions from that day in the hallway popped up. One after another.
    Body after body collapsed to the ground. Blood splattered across the walls, dripping down the white paint to the floor.
    People running. Screaming. Everyone was screaming.
    I didn’t know what was worse. The screams or the sound of gunshots. I could run, but the gunman was at the door and no one had made it out alive yet. I grabbed Nia’s arm and pulled her into the doorway.
    More screams. More shots. More blood. And I was trapped.
    “Josh!” Kat screamed and fell to my side. “What’s the matter? Is it your leg?”
    Sweat dripped into my eye, and when she rested her hand on my arm, I was able to catch my breath. “Sorry,” I muttered.
    Her blue eyes, still red from crying, filled with concern. “What was that?”
    “Nothing.” She didn’t need to know. She had enough on her plate. Enough to deal with without taking on my craziness.
    She held my face in her hands. The simple gesture decreased my heart rate. “It wasn’t nothing. Don’t lie to me. I just spewed my problems all over you. Don’t even think about lying to me.”
    I didn’t know how to put what I was dealing with into words. It wasn’t something that came with a manual. I was on my own. But if anyone knew about being on their own, it was Kat. Two years ago I would’ve done anything for her, and in that moment, lying against her car, acid sweat burning my eye, I knew that hadn’t changed.
    So without going into too much detail, I put into words what I hadn’t been able to until that moment. “Loud noises freak me out. My brain thinks it’s a gunshot. It was a fucking car door for chrissakes. But my mind