(Once) Again by Theresa Paolo Read Free Book Online Page A

doesn’t register it that way. I hardly leave the house anymore.”
    Kat combed her fingers in my hair. “Why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to leave the house.”
    I grabbed her hand, pulling it down to lie on my cheek. “Because when I’m with you the visions go away.”
    “What visions?”
    I bit my cheek, realizing I’d said too much. But not being able to turn back now, I told her the truth. “When you found me on the floor of my bedroom, it was because I was having a nightmare, but it wasn’t really a nightmare because I lived it. I don’t call them nightmares because they happen when I’m not sleeping. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m zoned out, reliving that day.”
    Her thumb stroked the skin along my jaw. “Have you thought about seeing someone? A psychiatrist?”
    “How can they possibly understand what I’m going through?”
    “They’re trained. They go to school and learn how to deal with all types of things.”
    “A textbook can’t fix me. Unless you were there you wouldn’t understand,” I said, my tone much harsher than I intended. Kat leaned away from me, her eyes wide in . . . fear. Dammit, I’d scared her.
    I was an asshole. There was no other way to put it. Kat was trying to help and I snapped at her. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she got up and left me there. Instead she erased the space she’d created between us. She took my hands in hers and looked into my eyes. “Make me understand.”
    If only it were that easy. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
    She ran her fingers down my face and I relaxed my cheek against her hand. “That bad, huh?”
    Blood. Blood everywhere. Surrounded by lifeless bodies, knowing there was nothing you could do to bring them back. Looking evil right in the eye. “You have no idea.”
    “I don’t.” Kat stroked my hair then placed her hand on my chin, urging me to look at her. “But when you’re ready to talk to someone about it, I’m here.”
    My lip twitched with excitement. “Does that mean you’re going to stick around?”
    “If you want me to.”
    I pulled her face to mine and brushed my lips against hers. “Of course I do,” I said against her mouth. “Of course I do.”

Chapter 6
    Mike, my physical therapist, stood at the other end of the bars with his arms crossed. He expected me to walk. Well, I had news for him. That wasn’t happening. Especially since he didn’t want me to hold on to the bars. Only use them if I really “needed” to.
    If he wanted me to make it to the other side, then he needed to walk his ass over and carry me.
    “Come on, Josh. You got this,” he called out.
    Did I? Every time I put weight on my leg the pain made me want to fall to the floor and scream. He didn’t look like he was giving up though. Of course, he wasn’t the one with a bullet hole in his thigh.
    Where the hell did he put my crutches? I scanned the room and spotted them against the wall near where he stood. Dammit.
    “Just take one step at a time,” Mike said, and I ignored it.
    I took a cue from him and crossed my arms then shook my head. Not happening, dude. I would stand there all day if I had to.
    Mike let his arms fall in defeat and hustled over to me. “The only way you’re going to improve is if you start walking.”
    I shrugged. “Can I have my crutches now?”
    “You’re not even going to try?”
    I shook my head again.
    “I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”
    “Until you get shot, I don’t really care what you have to say.”
    Mike’s head snapped back, and instantly I felt bad for being such an asshole. But I was frustrated and annoyed, and even though I knew I shouldn’t be taking it out on him, I couldn’t help myself.
    Mike retrieved my crutches and brought them back. “You need to give yourself a little more credit. You can do this.”
    “Yeah, sure,” I said, taking my crutches out of his hands.
    I tucked them under my arms just as Liz walked in. After today Kat would bring me to and from