Out Cold by William G. Tapply Read Free Book Online Page B

“Life keeps beating the shit out of her, you know? Sometimes she gets ahold of some wine, or she just gets so depressed she can’t do anything, and then I don’t see her for a few days. I don’t depend on her. When she shows up, I always have work for her. She’s a good worker, when she’s here. Sweeping, washing dishes, stocking the shelves, bussing the booths, like that. She says she wants to cook, says she’s a good cook, and I tell her, I say, I’ve got to be able to rely on you, Sunshine. You gotta be able to promise you’ll show up on time every day, sober and ready to get to work, I tell her. You’d think she’d say, Oh, you can rely on me. I’ll be here. I promise. But she don’t. She just says she’ll do her best, and she gives you that look that says she knows that even her best ain’t that good.”
    â€œI was hoping she’d stop drinking,” I said. “It would help her cause.”
    Skeeter smiled. “She knows that. She just ain’t there yet.”
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    I got home a little after ten-thirty. Evie called around midnight. She told me a funny story about a hospital CFO from Cedar Rapids who Evie was quite sure had been hitting on her. The CFO was a fifty-year-old woman who actually had a great body, Evie said, and was I jealous yet?
    I assured her that I was.
    I read half a chapter of Moby-Dick , and this time Melville did his job. It was all about ambergris, and I had no trouble falling asleep.
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    A little before noontime the next day, Friday, I was on the phone with Howard Finch, trying to explain to him that his forty-three-foot Viking Sport Cruiser with its twin 375-horse Volvo engines and custom mahogany woodwork was simply not an acceptable swap for three black Labrador retrievers, no matter how impeccable their AKC papers were and regardless of how much Anna, Howard’s wife, loved them.
    â€œBut,” Howard was saying, “she agreed to it.”
    â€œWe’d never get it past the judge,” I said. “What’d we say that boat was worth?”
    â€œI paid a little over four hundred for it three years ago.”
    â€œAlmost half a million dollars,” I said. “How about the Labs?”
    â€œApples and oranges,” said Howard. “Jeez. I mean, she agreed.”
    â€œYour wife’s lawyer used the same fruit analogy,” I said. “It works both ways.”
    â€œThose dogs were damn expensive,” he said.
    â€œI’ve explained this to you a hundred times,” I said. “So stop being stupid and listen to your lawyer.”
    I heard his quick exhale of breath. “You calling me stupid?”
    â€œYou want to keep a half-million-dollar boat,” I said, “you better think about what you’re willing to give up. It should be worth about half a million. That’s how it works.”
    â€œGive up?” His voice went up half an octave. “Are you shitting me? I’m not willing to give up anything except the fucking dogs. And if I liked the dogs, I’d expect you to get them for me, too.”
    â€œYou’ve got to work with me here, Howard.”
    â€œThe hell I do. You work for me.”
    â€œHalf a mil worth of your blue chips might do it,” I said. “Or here’s an idea. How about the Winnipesaukee cottage?” Just then Julie knocked on my office door. “Hang on a minute, Howard.” I held the receiver against my chest. “Come on in,” I called to Julie.
    She pushed my office door open. Julie never interrupted me when I was conferring with a client, either in person or on the phone, unless it was some kind of emergency.
    She held up one finger, which meant she needed to talk to me for a minute and it was important.
    I put the phone to my mouth. “Howard,” I said, “I’m going to put you on hold for a minute. Don’t go away. Okay?”
    â€œYou trying to tell me you want me to