Paranormal Bromance by Carrie Vaughn Read Free Book Online Page A

put up a dating profile, so that a bunch of vampire wannabe fakers can take advantage of her? Because I guarantee that’s what would happen.”
    “Well then maybe if there was some kind of online dating specifically for supernaturals. Does such a thing exist?”
    “Not that I’ve been able to find, and trust me I do a lot of searching online for weird stuff. If there is one it’s probably pretty darned secret. Why—you thinking of starting one?”
    There was an idea—but the liability on that kind of thing had to be through the roof.
    “No, of course not, it just sounds so crass. ”
    “Did you have a question or am I hanging up on you now?”
    “I—I think I’ve forgotten my question.”
    “Then it must not have been important. Call back when you remember. Moving on now…”
    She moved the show along at a fast clip, taking four calls before the first break, returning with a rambling commentary on the latest vampire soap opera TV show, speculating about celebrities who might be secret vampires, and so on. Really, this sounded like any other talk radio advice show. Just the content was different. I had no idea what that meant.
    Well, partly, it made me feel better. Like this was all normal somehow. Or could be made to seem normal. As snarky and punchy as she sounded, she also seemed really easy to talk to. Which was why her show had been going on for years, and why people kept calling.
    If I really wanted to talk to her I could probably just find her. Ask Rick for an introduction. And did I want to talk to her? Hadn’t I already hashed over this enough? But the radio show was safely anonymous. I could do it. I could call.
    I had a sudden horrifying thought: what if Ginny listened to the show?
    What the hell. I called. I mostly expected to get a busy signal and told myself that if I got a busy signal I’d take it as a sign and hang up. But I didn’t. I got a screener who asked me to hold a minute. I supposed I could have hung up then , but once again I didn’t. What was happening to me?
    “Hi, thanks for waiting,” the screener said when he came back on. “Can you tell me your name, hometown, and what you want to talk about?”
    I wasn’t even sure I could say what I wanted to talk about. I really just… wanted to talk. “Um, yeah. Sam from Denver. I’m a vampire. I guess you probably hear this all the time, but I’ve met this woman and suddenly realize I have no idea how a relationship with someone who’s mortal would even work.”
    “Well, you’ve called the right place.” The guy sounded bored when he answered, which told me that yes, he’d heard this one before. “Hold on and I’ll put you in the queue. There’s no guarantee Kitty will take your call. You’ll need to turn your radio down.” He put me on hold, and the show came in through the phone line.
    Kitty wasn’t going to take my call, I was pretty sure. I wanted to giggle. I mean, who did this kind of thing? I kept listening.
    “Hi, Kitty.” This was a woman talking, no-nonsense and brusque. “So, I’m a vampire. And I have to know—how do I convince people that I’m not some sultry man-eating sex kitten? For some reason everyone who finds out I’m a vampire expects me to be a sultry sex kitten. Even other vampires!”
    “This is where the stereotype thing backfires,” she said, sounding as sympathetic as she had yet. “This is the same thing as thinking all vampires are hot. Can I ask a couple of questions? Do you have a job? Are you with a Family? How often are you actually running into this attitude?”
    “I—I guess I don’t really have a job. I’m with a Family. I work for the Family, it’s just easier that way. And the Master—well, he puts a lot of store by appearances. He likes the seductive look. But it’s really not me, and just because I’m a vampire doesn’t mean I should have to act like someone else’s idea of one.”
    This sounded like someone I’d get along with. It almost made me want to hang