vomiting was not what she had in mind for her afternoon.
“ This counts as a liquid. Liquids don ’ t count for the BRAT so you ’ re ok .”
She glanced his way and sighed. “ I think BRAT is a double entendre. I think it also stands for the state of mind of people who are too weak to protest but too hungry not to .”
Late that night, Chad noticed Willow ’ s journal on the coffee table and opened it hesitantly. She ’ d assured him that he was welcome to read them at any time , but it seemed like such an invasion of her privacy. Willow had given up so much of her life to make him a part of it that he felt like any more intrusion was almost criminal.
This time, however, he opened it. Curiosity triumphed over his unnecessary scruples and he sprawled out on the couch, munched on his sandwich, and flipped to the first page. The first words surprised him.
March —
It seems that nothing I do in this new life of mine is right. One moment I think I have the hang of things and the next I ’ ve unwittingly stomped on more toes. I have wondered at times if stepping away from Mother ’ s isolation was the best choice for me , but even if it wasn ’ t, I couldn ’ t go back now. Life without Marianne and Libby — without Cheri and Chuck , it ’ s a sad thought. Life without Chad? Inconceivable!
On the other hand, I do see that our life made us selfish. We did what we wanted, when we wanted, and with little regard for anyone but ourselves because our way of life encouraged it. If Mother wanted to take up weaving, she did it. She didn ’ t wonder if maybe the noise of the loom would hurt my head or if I thought the thing was ugly sitting in the living room night after night. I may have found it obnoxious , but we each respected the other ’ s ‘ right ’ to be obnoxious I guess. She , hated the idea of sheep , but I could have bought them at any time. We both knew that if I wanted them badly enough, I would have just done it , and Mother wouldn ’ t have said a word. It ’ s just how we did things. It worked for us but rarely did we have to die to self.
He skipped a few months and read from mid-April.
I decided what to give Chad for a wedding gift. Once he mentioned that he ’ d be giving me one, I realized that it was an opportunity for me to step out in faith. I ’ ll move his things into my room and pray for the strength and the courage to trust. I know I can trust Chad to treat me well , but I need the faith to trust the Lord that what He created as good is truly good. Mother left no doubt in my mind that the things of marriage are horrible and to be avoided. Mother wasn ’ t a liar. How do I reconcile what she said with what God and the Tesdalls and my Chad say?
Chad swallowed hard. He hadn ’ t realized how torn she ’ d been. He reread it once more smiling in spite of himself. She ’ d called him “ her ” Chad. She was fond of him. He ’ d known it for some time , but seeing that unintentional possessiveness meant a lot to him. At times, he ’ d felt very alone. He ’ d finally accepted that she might never love him as he loved her , and though it hurt to acknowledge it, it had also strengthened his resolve to love her as unconditionally as he possibly could.
He slowly climbed the stairs, crept into their room, and ran the backs of his fingers across the top of her head as she slept. The second banana peel lay on the nightstand next to a pile of popsicle sticks. From the looks of it, she ’ d eaten every single one in the box. He sighed, kissed her cheek, and left whispering, “ Love you , lass .”
Chapter 1 16
The trees swayed in the breeze as the morning crawled past . Willow leaned against her favorite tree, held her fishing pole, and wished Chad was with her. She had work to do but was so distracted that she ’ d given up after uprooting too many undersized plants instead of weeds. Instead, she had grabbed her tackle box, fishing pole,
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley